Friday, November 30, 2007

Calling All Minnesotans!

It is said that legions of the faithful praying the rosary were enough to prevent Austria from staying behind the "Iron Curtain" after World War II. It this is true, it just might do the trick for the Archdiocese of Minneapolis-St Paul.

This coming Sunday, at the Cathedral of Saint Paul, members of the faithful are asked to convene at the Selby Avenue entrance at two in the afternoon. For the next hour, they will process around the Cathedral, praying the Rosary, The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, and as many Litanies as they can fit in during the route. The intentions will be for the newly-appointed Coadjutor Archbishop John Nienstedt, and for what a spokesman for the event calls "the affliction and plaque of homosexuality, especially in Minnesota."

Now, this next part is not for the squeamish...

Be advised that another group will be assembled in the vicinity at the same time. They have made a public statement as well. Here is the kind of genius you are up against: "Do you encourage and support your lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) family members, and friends who accept and express their sexuality? If so, you're 'cooperating in a grave evil,' according to Archbishop Nienstedt. If you find yourself in disagreement with the archbishop's views and would like to see the Church's teaching on homosexuality reformed in light of credible science and the lived experiences of LGBT people and their families, then you're invited to a Vigil for Solidarity..." They'll be meeting on the front steps of the cathedral at the very same hour. So you'll have them surrounded. They haven't considered that. Nor have they considered what manner of "credible science" supports the ability of one man to put his @#$%& into another man's %$#@ without any harmful side effects.

(To whomever asked me to post this: I'll expect a full report on Monday, got it?)

1 comment:

Tony said...

I get this naughty vision in my mind of all the rosary prayers rising up and power coming down from heaven like the aliens' weapon in "Independence Day" infusing your new archbishop with superhuman power and in irresistible prompting for a "Jesus in the Temple" moment.

I would gladly hand him the twisted rope (or he could spin it off of one of the altar server's vestments) and he could go to town. :)

I'm just going to meditate on that for a minute and try to discern if I have to go to confession.