Thursday, February 17, 2011

Never Say ... Whatever!

The internet has gone bonkers over the interview by Rolling Stone of Canadian pop singer/heartthrob Justin Bieber. Some highlights from the issue, dated tomorrow, have already been released:

The Canadian-born Bieber never plans on becoming an American citizen. "You guys are evil," he jokes. "Canada's the best country in the world." He adds, "We go to the doctor and we don't need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you're broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard's baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby's premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home."

Now, he'd have a point about Canadian health care, although he fails to mention that taxes of our neighbors to the north are quite a bit higher, and that much of the system is financed by state-sanctioned casinos, AND that not every Canadian has had such a positive experience with the system, even when cases are life-threatening. But we should expect the young man to be proud of the land of his birth. That's only reasonable.

But then, according to The Daily Caller, it gets interesting.

Bieber also says he is pro-life. “I really don’t believe in abortion,” he says. “It’s like killing a baby?” However, when asked if he would support abortion rights in cases of rape, Bieber hesitates: “Um. Well, I think that’s really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I guess I haven’t been in that position, so I wouldn’t be able to judge that.”

OHH. EMM. GEE! Stop the presses. Our young squire has an unexpected opinion about abortion! Let's hear from those purveyors of wisdom in the Washington Post, beginning with columnist Jonathan Capehart ...

Everything happens for a reason?! That's the same kind of thinking lurking on Capitol Hill ... Bieber is entitled to his opinions, of course. I just wish he'd stick to singing -- such as it is.

Wow, so he's entitled to his opinion, just like every Hollywood diva who appears before a Congressional committee with expertise limited to a scene they played in a movie. Mighty sporting of you there, Capehart. Let's move onward and upward to the pair of gossip mavens that preside over "Celebritology."

Since he's got a lot of money and a trademark haircut, he's probably way more qualified than the average teenager. Somehow, we're thinking his publicist called in sick the day this interview was done and is now looking for work.

So a promising career may be cut short, due to the high crime of an original thought by a boy who is barely old enough to shave. But wait, there is hope. The New York Observer comes to the rescue, and reports that Rolling Stone left an important sentence out of the transcript of Bieber's remarks on abortion:

Rolling Stone's corrected quote, which acknowledges an "editing error," reads:

"Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

The edited version reflects Bieber's uncertainty and confusion about the issue, rather than a glib absolutism (as it first appeared).

So, from "glib absolutism" to "uncertainty and confusion." Well (yawn!), that makes all the difference in the world, doesn't it? And a generation of teenyboppers will live to see another day.

Justin Bieber was asked what he thought of something by a magazine, and he told them. When he gets up on stage and takes a moment in the middle of his act, to remind thousands of screaming young ladies to save themselves for just the right man, that would be a story. For now, this is an opportunity for the pundits to yell "Shut up and sing!" to a sixteen-year-old boy who really isn't out to change anybody's mind at all, unlike scores of others in the spotlight who are lionized by the same brainless boobs we have to hear from now.

Bieber may actually be smarter than most of them. This won't make so much as a dent in his album sales, and he'll laugh all the way to the bank. Good for him!

POSTSCRIPT: Prolife leaders have wasted little time in jumping on the Bieber bandwagon. reports that a Facebook page has already been created entitled "I Love Justin Bieber's Pro-Life Views." Obviously they've yet to learn of his "uncertainty and confusion about the issue." And so, the plot thickens ...

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