tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post7424739555222138021..comments2023-10-21T05:40:55.660-04:00Comments on man with black hat: 20 Years After: Divorce and the Culture of DeathDavid L Alexanderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13871706129906941567noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-19538060239882417442010-07-20T19:07:46.848-04:002010-07-20T19:07:46.848-04:00David: I am so sorry to read this. You are right, ...David: I am so sorry to read this. You are right, many so-called Catholic people don't understand. When I moved to this neighborhood (December, 15 years ago) a woman down the street had been left by her husband at Thanksgiving. She had two children, one that had just been born. No-fault divorce means that once one person leaves, the other can't do anything about it, even in states where contesting the divorce is allowed (they don't win). She is or was Catholic -- I don't know her very well anymore. But she told me once that many people at her parish (different from mine) thought less of her because of the divorce that she never wanted. I was very young then and I didn't know how to be a good neighbor to her, which is one reason I don't know her well. But even then I thought it was awful that the world doesn't punish the one who leaves, it just expects the one left to do the work of two parents. It's awful.<br /><br />People should not divorce except for the reasons you stated, and even some of those marriages can be saved. But the Church and society at large has to stop encouraging divorce. It's the abandoned spouse against the world.Gail Fhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11740482509910163332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-22210818480171174652010-07-20T17:28:09.110-04:002010-07-20T17:28:09.110-04:0011:
Yours is a very moving account. Please contac...11:<br /><br />Yours is a very moving account. Please contact me directly the MINUTE your book comes out. No, not the list that's on Amazon. YOU contact me. Please.David L Alexanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13871706129906941567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-56918560618235313152010-07-20T13:37:48.543-04:002010-07-20T13:37:48.543-04:00I was abandoned three-and-a-half years ago when my...I was abandoned three-and-a-half years ago when my husband decided he wanted all of his money for himself and a younger woman, it is much more involved than that (I wrote a book), and it included abuse, also. I had ten minor children at the time. I am still going to court to this day trying to achieve justice, safety, and child support. The system is terrible, and it has been most definitely HARD every single day11onmyown.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11713908991167662551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-80015614076076540122010-07-20T12:38:13.997-04:002010-07-20T12:38:13.997-04:00Susan:
People confuse forgiving with forgetting.
...Susan:<br /><br />People confuse forgiving with forgetting.<br /><br />Yes, a couple can go on after such an episode, but they do not always. Behavior can change with an infusion of Divine Grace. But Grace builds upon nature, and the heart must be open. To do so often requires losing everything held dear. My contention regarding addictive behavior is based on anything that anyone with any experience whatsoever, has ever written with regard to addictive behavior, including no small number of recovering alcoholics.David L Alexanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13871706129906941567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-75969611248602306712010-07-20T12:27:20.460-04:002010-07-20T12:27:20.460-04:00Some people have forgiven both adultery, and some ...Some people have forgiven both adultery, and some people have forgiven abuse and gone on to have happy marriages without the recurrence of either. It takes divine intervention and conversion of heart, but it can and does happen. <br />Susan Petersoneulogoshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05307036781446427993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-77522264029557003242010-07-19T07:29:52.479-04:002010-07-19T07:29:52.479-04:00I agree in general with your column. I was abandon...I agree in general with your column. I was abandoned by my adulterous husband. I had 4 children under the age of 8 when he left. I had been out for the workforce for about 8 years and would stay out another 7 to raise our children alone.<br />I had to go back to school to get the job I have now.<br />I understand the financial effects of divorce which society will just be realizing in the next few years.<br />I cannot afford to buy a home.<br />I have virtually no savings for retirement.<br />Since most of my friends are married I am now finding myself socially isolated. Not a couple anymore and everything in society is couple based.<br />I will likely have to work well into my late 60's. It's already difficult to work with three children at home.<br />My husband's reason to leave was "to let it all hang out".<br /><br />To my mind divorce is the same as abortion.<br />It appears to a be a solution but is one that offers more problems than anything.<br /><br />And the effect on children is terrible.angelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10433592475911059131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3589378.post-60665104407648968292010-07-19T01:39:03.286-04:002010-07-19T01:39:03.286-04:00David - I have read your blog off and on now for a...David - I have read your blog off and on now for a few years, and I can't <i>really</i> say that I know you - but this post, I don't know - I connected with what you wrote. Not because of the advice (though it is good), but because of the connection to your story underneath it. Thanks for that.RobKPhDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16220380405943891911noreply@blogger.com