A Less-Than-Beatific Vision
Osama Bin Laden dies and goes to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates he is greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama on the nose.
James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on Osama's knee.
Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.
As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This is not what I was promised! I lived a holy life and fought the infidel. I want the 72 Virgins promised to me!"
Thomas Jefferson replied, "that was 'Virginians' not virgins. Welcome to Heaven."
(H/T to Ken Cuccinelli. No mention that many of these Virginians would take issue with America's current extent of foreign entanglements. Eh, whatever ...)