Because it’s only a wafer, right?

Less than two weeks ago, Creative Minority Report told us the sad tale of Webster Cook, a student at the University of Central Florida, who tried to leave Sunday Mass on campus in possession of the Eucharist, without consuming it.

"[H]e attempted skulk back to his pew with a consecrated host. The extraordinary minister saw what he was doing and blocked his path until he put into his mouth. However, when he got back to his pew he removed the host. A lady from the Church saw what he done and attempted to get the host back from him by trying to pry his hand open. Cook now claims he is a victim."

After a flood of calls and e-mails to university officials, Cook was appropriately dealt with. For the moment.

Alas, our antagonist is down, but not out. Fresh on the rebound to play "Let's Be A Victim," Cook now maintains, in effect, that the Catholic Church is little more than a one-billion member frat house. Judge for yourself.

"[Cook] filed the hazing charges with school administrators after admitting he took the wafer, considered sacred by Catholics, home after Mass June 29 over the objections of other worshipers... Cook, who kept the wafer in a plastic bag at home for a week before returning it, said the school's anti-hazing policy bans the forced consumption of any food as a condition of admittance or affiliation with an school group."

No, wait! It gets better.

"Cook also maintains the Catholic club violates the school's underage alcohol policy by serving communal wine to minors."

WELL!!! From this little melodrama, we can safely conclude three things.

First, this kid is a total horse's patootie who doesn't have the cojones to admit he screwed up.

Second, having publicly refuted any belief in the Real Presence, he has -- publicly, mind you -- disqualified himself from further reception of the Sacraments until he is reconciled.

And third, if he has a problem with "serving communal wine to minors," he can just forget about being invited to any keg parties from now on!
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