One Man, One Woman... you want fries with that?

Our neighbors to the north (that would be Canada, eh?) have recently included same-sex unions in the category of marriage. So gay and lesbian couples in the USA are crossing the border to obtain the appearance of legitimacy, and the Washington Post has recently started listing their announcements (with very little fanfare, the little devils!) in their weekly wedding announcement page.

My colleague and favorite Canuck, Peter Vere, has commented on this subject, as it affects his homeland:

"As previously mentioned, marriage is no mere private contract between individuals. It concerns the good of the individual, the good of the family and for the good of society as a whole. While the marital contract is entered into as an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman, marriage nevertheless possesses a social dimension into which children are born, nurtured and educated. Subsequently, marriage is unequal to other to other contracts between humans; by its very nature, its effects are not merely restricted to those who contract the marriage. Rather, marriage both profoundly and directly impacts upon the lives of others, namely, the children born into the relationship. For this reason, a society can never exclusively define marriage in terms of individual rights without placing its stability at great risk. Unlike other relationships that merely concern private individuals, marriage cannot be left to succeed or fail upon the merits of the individuals who contract it."

In the social circles I inhabit, I occasionally run across the more libertine of our society. (Hey, I'm an artist. It can happen.) Earlier in the summer, I met a woman who, with the cooperation of her husband, has what she calls an "open marriage." For reasons I am unable to determine, I was supposed to be the next lucky guy. Well, I don't define "luck" in the same way as did the woman, so I had to decline her offer. (I got a good look at her. It wasn't that hard.)

But I didn't stop there. "You know, I'm not going to tell you how to run your life, 'cuz you won't listen to me anyway. But I gotta say, hon, the only reason this world stays in one piece, is that enough of us don't have marriages like yours."

She found it difficult to argue with reasoning like that. But my fellow St Blog's parishioner Andrew Sullivan might:

[select quotation to come]

Well, Andrew, it's like this. I won't deny that you care about someone who might be referred to as your "boyfriend." Nor do I question your capacity, or your need, to love and to be loved (a process which, I take great pains to point out, does not necessarily coincide with sex). Not only that, but I have found that some really great guys I know happen to also be... well, you know.

That being said, if you REALLY want to know what many find unsettling about romantic relationships between two men, it has been most clearly (if very indelicately) described by one website owner who calls himself "Catholic Caveman." Brace yourselves, everybody; this is not for the squeemish:

"Homophobe---Anyone that realizes that a man who places his fully erect penis into another mans feces filled colon, is ONE SICK PUPPY."

Now, this time I'm the one who finds it difficult to argue with reasoning like that. (That doesn't make me hate you, or afraid of you, or anyone with your sexual preference.) But, Andrew, you're welcome to give it a shot.

And while you're at it, relax. After all, TIME Magazine won't be putting my name on their masthead anytime soon.

Meanwhile, now that I'm finished with lunch, I've gotta bang out more publishing for my rich uncle. (Sam. Maybe you know him.) Then tonight I'm heading out to the country with my friend and we're gonna watch for Mars. Sounds like a plan to me, eh?