Fred Explains Everything For You

Ever since I wrote "My Canaanite Moment" last May, I've been trying to figure out if there really is a definition for "probable cause." Now, a syndicated columnist and career curmudgeon named Fred Reed has helped me see the light: "When I was on the police beat, cops had to have probable cause to search anyone. This was defined as 'an articulable reason for believing that a specific person was committing a specific crime.' Carrying a bolo knife and a severed head meets that standard. I’m not sure that riding a subway is adequately suspicious."

I know an off-duty jarhead with a testosterone imbalance who could use this information. Stay in this town long enough, and you will too.

Or, you could take Fred's advice and move to Mexico.