“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (St Margaret of Scotland Edition)

We need a palate cleanser and it was either this, via 2Bucks Entertainment, or the report on the nine-year-old in Brooklyn who slammed a door on a robber’s arm, grabbed his gun, and fired at him to chase him out of his home. Yes, it makes for a good story, but it also reminds us of the sad reality, that alpha males are born, not made.

Meanwhile, among the beta males of planet Earth:

• Hillary Clinton began using Twitter today. "Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD ..." Admitting your obsession with pantsuits is the first step to recovery. (AP)

• A seventeen-year-old kid got hit by a car, flipped over, landed on his feet, and walked away with the whole thing on video. Not to mention ... Twitter. (news.ninemsn.com.au)

• Love is in the air, as a woman discovers that her mysterious online boyfriend is actually her ex-husband. So now he's a stalker, is that it? (TwinCities.com)

• Speaking of guns, in Texas, you can shoot anyone trespassing in your home at night, even if it's a hooker who took your money without, uh, completing the transaction. (San Antonio News-Express)

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.