“I read the news today, oh boy …” (Saint Kateri Tekakwitha Edition)

We begin this week's Monday morning feature with what is ostensibly serious news, if it didn't involved House minority leader and former Speaker Nancy “We Have To Pass The Bill To Find Out What’s In It” Pelosi. She makes a number of blatant factual errors, which are called out by that goddess of the 24-hour news cycle, Megyn Kelly of the Fox News Channel, and from which she (Pelosi) has already backed away, by digging an even deeper hole trying to get out of it, than the one she dug trying to get in.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• There's a growing trend of commentators for professional sporting events doing candids of people in the crowd and making remarks about them. Usually it's a very attractive wife of a player, but I guess these guys had a little too much time on their hands. [NESN]

• Speaking of being on the job, how's that proposal for a four-day work week coming along? Anybody??? [CBS News]

• Either it was a clerical error, or the Selective Service System had a demand for zombies in the draft pool. Of course, if these guys had served already ... [Fox News]

• Someone once said that "the old days ain't what they used to be." And so we return to those thrilling days of yesteryear, whatever year (or decade) that was for you. [FiveThirtyEight]

• If you live in Sacramento, be careful watering the lawn with neighbors around. Wait for the middle of the night, unless they're out doing it. [KOVR-TV]

• Finally (and perhaps on a more serious note), this week's segment was almost called the "Bastille Day Edition." There's a reason why it was not. [Laudem Gloriae]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.