Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Things I Learned At The Movies: Part Two

• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

• It is not necessary to hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

• Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

• Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

• If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

• Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

• Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.


1 comment:

Lisa said...

Excellent! But you forgot about cars starting at any time except for when they're actually needed.