Any Given Sunday?

This has been making the rounds, originating in the Catholic blogosphere with Mark Shea.

Some bible-thumper from Panama City, Florida, by the name of James Lyman, tries to disrupt a Mass. In the background, you hear some weenie on the microphone ask an usher to get his license plate number. (Oh yeah, that oughta bring it to a halt!) What follows is how the faithful responded, and were able to subdue him. Personally, I think singing either "Te Deum" or "Holy God We Praise Thy Name" would have been a more distinctly Catholic response. Unfortunately, there are a lot of words in those songs, and raising hands in the charismatic style while singing them loses a lot in the translation. I can see where that might be a problem. (cough!) But my favorite is the one Tim Ferguson shared in the Catholic blogosphere's busiest comments box:

"I was at a similar occasion years ago in St Paul, Minnesota at a downtown parish. One of the 'regulars' was a woman who introduced herself as 'Mary, the Bishop of Montana.' Delusion, but quite harmless.

"Mary would lurk in the vestibule until the procession started and then take her place behind the presider, walking up the aisle and 'blessing' the congregation before taking her seat in the front pew.

"One day, during the homily, a man came in the church, waving a bible and screaming about how Catholics are bound for hell. Poor Father at the altar was dumbfounded for a moment, not knowing what to do, Then, Mary, (the Bishop of Montana) stood up and said, 'Don't worry Father, I'll take care of it. I'll excommunicate him.' She marched to the back of the church, bodily picked the man up and carried him out of the church.

"Father muttered something about two birds and one stone and sent the deacon out after them to check on them."

Of course, this would never happen at the Cathedral of my diocese. The head usher is a former Army Ranger who specialized in black ops. To hear him tell it, he really enjoyed his work.

HOO-rah.
.