“I read the news today, oh boy ...”

This week's Pajamas Media report of the blogosphere contained an expletive which we determined to be completely unnecessary (not to mention a violation of the Second Commandment). For that reason, we have decided to settle for Bill Whittle explaining the nature of the universe.

Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth ...

• Don't you hate it when you wake up in the morning, look out at the pool, and see a Lexus parked at the bottom of it? It may not be the weirdest thing to happen in California, but ... (AP)

• In Nashville, Tennessee, a man turned himself in for stealing plants from a city park -- in 1958. No word on how those plants are doing by now. (AP)

• Just when you thought the public school system was really doing down the tubes, an elementary school in Fort Worth, Texas, has been misspelling its name for nine years. Let's rool that video! (Yahoo! News)

• Finally, just when you thought that Time magazine couldn't be outdone with that cover of a woman breastfeeding a four-year-old ... (The Ticket)

Well, that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.