“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Tres Reyes Edition)

In the Irish neighborhood of South Boston, they welcomed the new year by taking the "polar bear plunge" in to the Dorchester Bay for the 111th time. In an unrelated story, a mother in Georgia shot a home invader, shedding new light on the gun control debate. (See video.) Even the new police chief in Detroit is telling citizens to start packing -- not to leave town, but by carrying a gun. In Colorado, they welcomed the new year by legalizing marijuana.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth.

• Speaking of getting high, here's how dolphins do it. Fortunately, puffer fish are already legal. [The Independent]

• If you go to Colorado and secure a stash yourself to take out of state, that would be illegal, of course. Some people would put a secret compartment in their car, but be advised that the police are already on to that idea, whether you use it for that reason or not. [CNS News]

• Of course, once you get high, you'll want to get high more often, and you'll start doing things like giving weird names to your kids. You'll need a guide for that. [Jezebel]

• For those old-fashioned types who would settle for getting high on beer, it's still possible to get a good buzz, enough to take it personally if you're from Alabama, and Oklahoma's football team is whooping your beloved 'Bama Boys. See how one fine young Southern belle made the South rise again. Watch it repeatedly on the image here, or click on the link to see the video of 'Bama Girl in action. [Clash Daily]

• Finally, and speaking of catfights, we remember Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan, and "the whack heard around the world," twenty years to the day after it happened. [MLive]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, and the coming year along with it, stay tuned, and stay in touch.