“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Passion Monday Edition)

Stephen Colbert, the parodying pundit from Comedy Central, reports: “The dark forces trying to silence my message of core conservative principles mixed with youth-friendly product placement have been thwarted.” When a day job and home responsibilities keep you sufficiently occupied, it is hard to keep up with what is trending on Twitter.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• Police in Massachusetts responding to reports of an intruder in a woman's home quickly quacked the case. [AP]

• Americans who face tough times and have to cut back on certain luxuries, may find consolation in sharing the family toothbrush. Or ... maybe not. [Simple Life, Abundant Life]

• In an unrelated but equally disturbing development, it has been discovered that Adolf Hitler may have married a Jew. [Opposing Views]

• Finally, the month of August this year will have five Fridays, five Saturdays and five Sundays. This happens only once every 823 years. The Chinese call it “Silver Pockets Full.” Somebody told me to send this message to my friends and “in four days money will surprise you,” and if I didn't, I might end up being poor. Not that I believe this stuff, but it does fit the concept of this series, and besides, why take chances? [Before It's News]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.