“I read the news today, oh boy …” (Mary’s Birthday Edition)

There are more exciting things than watching the grass grow. One of them is watching crayons being made, as we provide yet another excuse for a GIF animation.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• There is what people say, and what people mean when they say it. Here is a list of fourteen such veiled comments. [Thought Catalog]

• Speaking of falling for something, there is a new phenomenon on the internet, and her name is “The Food Babe.” This attractive woman appears to know something about what goes into your food, and she can even make dihydrogen monoxide sound bad for you. [Forbes]

• Once there was a psychologist whose science experiments on his own children were considered unethical. Nowadays some children don't wait for that to happen. [Reuters via MSN]

• It sounds like an urban legend, but a Great Dane underwent surgery to have 43 1/2 socks removed from his stomach. Maybe he was saving that last half-sock for a nightcap. One thing's for sure, if you watch the video, you'll see the story had a happy ending. [The Oregonian]

• In a related story, an Indiana judge has ordered an attorney not to appear again in court without wearing proper attire, which would appear to include -- you guessed it ... [AP]

• In other potentially scary outcomes (depending on from which side of Hadrian's Wall you hail), the vote of Scotland to separate from the United Kingdom leaves vexillologists and vexillophiles the world over wondering the same thing. [Gizmodo]

• Meanwhile, on the other side of the aforementioned wall, somebody may have found Jack the Ripper. [The Daily Mail]

• Somewhere is a list of what purports to be the fifteen most loved or hated bands of the last thirty years, depending on where you went to college, what year you graduated, and to which college clique you belonged. [Salon]

• Finally, today is the birthday of the Blessed Virgin Mary, which is a pretty big deal in the Philippines, especially the exotic city of Cebu. Note the priest wearing blue vestments, and the altar servers wearing blue tunics, an indulgence that Mother Church has historically granted to the Spanish colonies (past and present). [Cebu Daily News]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.