Today we commemorate Saint Hopswald of Aleyard, the first man to take his priest out for a beer. Nothing else is known about this saint, including whether he actually existed, or is actually the recent concoction of a bunch of young über-trad Catholics out for a cheap laugh.
Meanwhile, (closer to the present and) elsewhere on planet Earth:
• There's panic in the streets of DC, as the city government decides to crack down on those who take matters into their own hands, and imposes as 24-hour waiting period before citizens can purchase ... (dcist.com)
• In another area of life in the naked city, if a pin falls in a disco on a Saturday night, does anybody hear it, even when it's quiet? No, because ... (Gajitz)
• There is talk of reviving dinosaurs through DNA samples from fossilized remains -- yeah, just like in "Jurassic Park," whatever -- but there's at least one they may have to take off the list. (National Post)
• Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated story, our Pope Francis is losing popularity with at least one man, who plans to sue him and the Church for ruining his marriage. How could this have happened, you ask? Maybe this will ring a bell. (World News Daily)
• They say that diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell, in a way that makes them look forward to the trip. And so, we look to the British, who take the prize for saying just what they mean -- sort of. (Telegraph)
• Finally, a story of hope from a "big box" store with a heart, one that treats its employees well, is making a fortune, and is buying up half the world's supply of ... cashews? (Neatorama)
And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on (and as we get ready to pack for the trip to Ohio), stay tuned, and stay in touch.