“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Saint Pio of Pietrelcina Edition)

(That's right. Today is the feast day for "Padre Pio." Now then ...)

I was in Cincinnati when this happened. My agency is located just west of the White House, just a few miles away from the incident in question, and we didn't get an internal memorandum on this until about three days later.

Meanwhile, see for yourself why Jon Stewart and The Daily Show are quickly becoming the news analysis program of choice in America. When it comes to the "lamestream media," they really are that stupid. But let's give them credit; at least Wolf Blitzer didn't blame it on right-wing extremists in the first hour of coverage before finding out it was really ... oops, nothing to see here, move along, move along.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• Last week, we reported on the homeless man in Boston who found a bag of cash and travelers checks, and turned it into the police. They gave him a commendation. We thought they should give him a job. Now it seems others have given him the next best thing, as a fundraising drive has suddenly sprung up for him. (NBC News)

• Meanwhile, in another innovation in fundraising, an engineering professor from California has racked up quite a few airline miles through the purchase of ... (Gizmodo)

• A 61-year-old Texas man stumbled into an emergency room with severe gastrointestinal issues. He was too drunk to drive, even in Texas, although it wasn't from drinking, but from a unique approach to home-brewing. (NPR)

• Speaking of drinking, does anyone really drink holy water? Pilgrims at various sites of miracles could find they need one if they drink up for one. Is there nothing sacred, we have to ask? (GetReligion)

• They say everyone needs a hobby, and a refugee to the States from Vietnam has discovered one, which is currently on display at art galleries. Even in the age of computers, the world still needs pencils. (Twisted Sifter)

• Finally, if you want to see how much the face of Europe has changed over the years, take a look at this bonus video, showing a time-lapse of national boundaries over the last millennium. (LiveLeak)

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.