“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Pre-Government-Shutdown Edition)

Today, all federal government employees shall eat, drink, and be about their business in preparing for what may or may not happen. This seems like a good time to listen to Neil Cavuto of the Fox Business Channel, and one of the smartest guys in the room that is cable news channels, cut through the malarkey on what happens tomorrow for all Americans, including those that are about to get exactly what they asked for.

Meanwhile, elsewhere (outside the Beltway, and) on planet Earth:

• A man in Albuquerque, New Mexico, who murdered his attorney, gets a new one. You have to wonder what happens next. (SarcasmBecauseBeatingIsIllegal)

• Speaking of getting a life sentence, the best place for one seems to be Norway, where they believe that the key to rehabilitation is making prison more humane than life on the outside. Or something. (FREEdom of Speech)

• Meanwhile, down in Louisiana, they're teaching fourth-graders about the aforementioned seamy underbelly of life in their own unique way. And to think this state was predominantly Catholic at one time, or maybe still is. Oy! (Fox News Nation)

• In another report on getting schooled, we learn what may be the ruination of the English language, and it's not text messaging. (Gizmodo)

• Just two states over, in the heart of Dixie that is Alabama, we find another development in the field of education, where they still prefer a good old-fashioned ... (Fox News Insider)

• In the field of medicine, doctors in China found a way to replace a man's nose that had been damaged by infection, by simply growing it somewhere else -- temporarily, we hope. (ABC News)

• Next, we turn to the world of fashion. Having trouble buying shoes? Some children in the world go to bed without any. Now maybe both of you can walk a little easier. (The Daily Beast)

• Finally, in yet another development in haute couture, we discover what may be the most versatile clothing you can possibly have in your closet. Because it doesn't change color, however, you may need one for each day of the week. But let the accompanying video do some of the explaining, before reading further. (Gajitz)

And that's all the news that fits, although we may or may not have some new developments by tomorrow. As the week goes on, and as we prepare a guide for what the government shutdown means to you Americans who only THINK you won't miss much, stay tuned, and stay in touch.