Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Augustine Edition)

Today the Church remembers the "restless heart" named Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis, aka Augustine, a Roman citizen of north Africa, or what is now modern-day Algeria, who eventually was made Bishop of Hippo (the present-day city of Annaba) in the late fourth and early fifth century.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Are we in the midst of the great Chastisement? My dad used to say, “Yes, and it’s called the ‘New Mass.’” Pat Archbold would probably agree, but offers a different explanation nonetheless. [Creative Minority Report]

• Speaking of the "New Mass," Jeff Ostrowski attempts to shatter a few myths about the official liturgical reform, for the benefit of those devoted to liturgical studies (which is to say, not most of you). [Views from the Choir Loft]

• In light of recent events, it has been made clear that the American bishops remain committed to dialogue with people in faraway lands who want to cut off our heads. Does anyone else see this ending well? [National Catholic Reporter]

• A devoted Catholic husband and father says that a Holy Hour can be a "date." Not exactly a trip to the malt shop ... [Seton Magazine]

• At some point, it is not enough to apply a bandage to a boil. The only remedy is to lance it. If anyone needed to make a case that the Legionnaires of Christ must be completely dissolved with nary a trace remaining, and its priests compelled to re-evaluate their ministry, they will find it here (as if the malevolence of its founder were not enough). [Pia de Solenni]

• UPDATE: A message to the responsible parties in the aforementioned account: SORRY DON'T FEED THE BULLDOG! [National Catholic Reporter]

• Finally, and on the other hand, a different and more moderate perspective is offered by canonist and Very Close Personal Friend Pete Vere, as well as how to tell when the same mistake might happen again. [Catholic Light]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (St Jeanne-Françoise de Chantal Edition)

The Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments released guidelines on the Rite of the Sign of Peace during Mass.

In other words, nothing's going to change because most Catholics are used to the usual back-slapping smackdown right before communion shown twice in this video, and other assorted nonsense listed between 0:55 and 1:06, as opposed to a more dignified approach consistent with its authentic tradition, as seen at the altar between 0:43 and 0:48.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• People are surprised to discover that Pope Francis is no longer playing Mister Nice Guy. In one case, he has found a way to piss off the Turks. It's safe to say he won't be visiting there soon. [Armenpress]

• Speaking of not going anywhere, in an attempt to never have an unpublished or unrecorded thought, Pope Francis says he expects to be on the job for only two or three more years before "I'll be off to the Father's House," a possible reference to the proposed retirement home for Popes at Castel Gandolfo. [Agence France-Presse]

• It was not enough to take away the "Mass Of All Time" from Fisher-More College, and forbid them from inviting priests of dubious canonical status. Most recently, the Most Reverend Michael Olson [A Blog for Dallas Area Catholics]

• And speaking of the Mass, we were told fifty years ago that the early Church was a total Kumbayah experience, gathering around the table watching some random holy guy split a loaf of bread in half with his bare hands. There may have been a bit more to it than that. [ADW.org]

• In recent years (as if it's never been thought of before), the Church is trying to reach out to the young people of today, using the latest of technology, and dumbing down the message to 140 characters or less. When you put it that way, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? Well, it gets worse. [projectYM]

• Finally, and speaking of technology, Pope Francis told a crowd of 50,000 altar servers from Germany to put down their cell phones and learn to actually communicate. They all lined up afterwords to get “selfies” with him. [Aleteia]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Assumption’s Eve Edition)

This seemed like as good a time as any to show this video, dedicated to one who is deserving of further discussion. All in good time. Now then ...

If someone had told me at this time last year, or before this time last week, that Father John Zuhlsdorf would be interviewed by the Jesuit periodical America, I never would have believed it. But sure enough, it happened in their issue published at this time last week, and I STILL can't believe it. See for yourself!

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Paul Goings begs to disagree with the good Father that blogging is a form of ministry. "That there are prominent clergymen who actually believe this is part of the reason for the godawful mess we're in." He fails to explain how. [Facebook/Anglo-Catholic Central]

• In a story of yet another "form of ministry," Father Dwight Longnecker begins the first in a series of three articles, related to the passing of Tony Palmer, a protestant bishop and close personal friend of Pope Francis. In light of the Pope's stated desire that he have a Catholic funeral and be treated as though he was a real bishop -- after all, you'll believe anything, right? -- the good Father begins by asking the obvious. [Standing On My Head]

• Continuing with the matter of Tony Palmer and other "separated brethren," Father Longnecker elaborates on the concept of salvation as is found only in the Catholic Church. [Standing On My Head]

• And now, the climax to the whole Tony Palmer thing, as Father Longnecker explains the canonical aspects of suitability of a non-Catholic for a Catholic funeral, something that comes up in conversation at rectories around the world every day. Uh huh. [Standing On My Head]

• Oh, and one more thing. Father Longnecker announces that he is closing his comments box because all the nuts are coming out of the woodwork. After all, it's not as if he was encouraging them. [Standing On My Head]

• Kathryn discusses the spirituality of the recording artist who once sang about how "Catholic girls start much too late." [Through A Glass Brightly]

• In a (kinda sorta) related story, Hilary White discusses the trend of young men giving up on marriage because "women aren't women anymore." Well, isn't it obvious, hon? It's because the men aren't good enough anymore! [LifeSite News]

• On a lighter note, Pat Archbold explains what a parish could do in very short order to restore the sacred to its liturgical life, if you don't count the need for weekly explanations of the obvious in every parish bulletin for a year. [NCRegister]

• And now, back to the hard stuff, as the envoy for the Vatican at the United Nations says that military action may be justified to save Christians in Iraq. After all, it couldn't possibly get out of hand. Stay tuned on this one. [CatholicCulture.org]

• In a further attempt to address the aforementioned, Jonah Goldberg explains why the Swiss Guards should include ninjas. (Of course, why didn't we think of that?) [National Review]

Finally, a new website hoping to get down with the totally hep-cat Millennials crowd. That's where we got this totally rad video that hippity-hops the Gospel story in four minutes. The tagline? “Make holy all the things!” We'll see.

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass tomorrow because it's a Holyday of Obligation, and then again next Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Cajetan Edition)

It's been reported that Pope Francis invited a Catholic delegation from North Korea to attend his Mass in South Korea and ... wait a minute, you mean there are Catholics in North Korea???

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• The American bishops are claiming the moral high ground on the matter of receiving infinite numbers of undocumented aliens crossing the southern border illegally. The problem is whether this squares with the quintessential Catholic social teaching which they are NOT claiming. [Catholic Journal]

• In another story of a lack of restraint, the Vatican has made clear its desire for a more restrained use of the "Sign of Peace" in the celebration of the "ordinary form" of the Roman Mass. Obviously "according to local custom" just isn't cutting the mustard. [CNA News]

• The term "Cafeteria Catholic" used to apply to progressive dissenters in the Church. According to Father Dwight Longnecker, it now applies to conservative dissenters. Since when did "conserving" something become a problem? [Standing On My Head]

• Finally, read it and weep, but for Zion's sake, do not be silent: “The people of Nineveh will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the proclamation of Jonah, and, see, something greater than Jonah is here!” — Matthew 12:41 [NCRegister]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (St Ignatius of Loyola Edition)

Sometimes, someone just has to say something out loud to whomever they are convinced is completely clueless. Now, this writer won't say that the object of this rant fits that description, at least not yet. In fact, many Catholics have a naive overestimation of how much power a Pope really has. Not just since Vatican II, mind you, but historically, at least since they no longer had an entire army to go out and kick some other country's @$$. But hey, she's a judge, which means she probably thinks that's gonna matter. Remember, every judge was once a lawyer, and you know how lawyers are. So, this week, we feature yet another smarty-pants whose name we'll all forget by … well, by now.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• An archbishop in Iraq (probably the last one left for all we know) tells us the biggest factor in the present conflict, and it's not the "Mohammedans." [Spero News]

• Patrick Archbold comments on the cottage industry that has arisen around natural family planning. It is not clear from the account he cites, why so many people worry about how often any woman on any given day is checking their … well, you know. [NCRegister]

• THIS JUST IN: There are reports that Pope Francis is the first pope in the two-thousand-year history of the Church to walk across St Peter's Square to visit the dentist, probably because he's so f@#$ing humble. Film at eleven. [Kath.net]

• Before leaving for the dentist, the Pope suspended ordinations of a diocese in Paraguay because His Holiness is the sworn enemy of Catholic tradition, and not because the local bishop is harboring a credibly accused pedophile priest as his vicar general who escaped from the United States until the heat died down. Are we clear on that? [The Eponymous Flower]

• Bishop Dennis Sullivan of Camden has decided that permeant deacons can wear the clerical collar in public, so that people might think their ordained, and they are ordained, but it has to be with a gray shirt, so that permanent deacons don't get confused with first-year seminarians who also wear the collar, but who are not ordained. The preceding just made sense to some people. [The Deacon's Bench]

• The American bishops' conference is receiving government funding to send bibles to undocumented immigrant children currently being cared for by said government. At least it's not the Qur'an. [The Christian Post]

• Finally, we are sad to note the passing of one of our dear sisters in the Catholic blogosphere. Sarah Harkins, also known as "The Clay Rosary Girl," passed away on Monday, along with her unborn child, Cecilia, after suffering a brain aneurysm. “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.” [The Clay Rosary Girl]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
   

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Vigil of Saint James the Greater Edition)

In the coming week, we commemorate the centennial of the outbreak of the First World War, referred to in its day as “The World War” or even “The Great War.” It was supposed to be "the war to end all wars," but instead it was the war that changed the world forever, and heralded the shape of the century to follow. In this excellent nineteen-minute documentary by the Catholic News Service, experts discuss the legacy of the conflict that changed faith and society in the West, including the role played by the Church.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• New Catholic offers a brilliant commentary for the video above, including an oft-overlooked legacy of the aftermath of the conflict. [Rorate Caeli]

• Ben Conroy is a guest columnist on Patheos Catholic Channel, who discusses the relationship between Catholicism and those with same-sex attraction who seek a virtuous life. [The Anchoress]

• For the first time in forty years, the Diocese of Rochester finally gets the remedial catechism lesson it so richly deserves, starting with the obvious. [The Deacon's Bench]

• Ever meet anyone who is "spiritual but not religious"? You just want to knock some sense into their heads, or ask them what the hell that could possibly mean. Or you could share what Jon Sorensen has to tell them. [Catholic Answers]

• Scientists have discovered that atheists might not exist. No, seriously, a few of them are really, uh, serious. [Science 2.0]

• Finally, Sherry Antonetti wants to know “what does it mean to be a Catholic blogger?” She lives not far from yours truly. All she had to do was ask. [Chocolate For Your Brain]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Alexius Edition)

This is one of the Pope's closest collaborators. For years he worked with the Vatican's Secretariat of State. In 2006, he was named a master of pontifical ceremonies. Things changed for this Argentinian when the Pope (who is from Argentina, duh!) was elected. So now we get to follow him for just another day at the office.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• House majority leader and former Speaker Nancy “Ardent Catholic” Pelosi considers the American bishops to be really swell when they agree with her. Naturally, this isn't very often. [The Daily Caller]

• In other turns of events, the administration of the precariously-postured Fisher More College may no longer be able to play the “Bishop Olson Hates The Latin Mass” card, after he attended "in choro" at a Solemn High Mass, and gave the homily. [A Blog for Dallas Area Catholics]

• Meanwhile, get ready for the new generation of Cardinal, as the new Archbishop of Vienna is known to be "less dogmatic" and "theologically conservative" at the same time. Now, if we could just figure out the point of this explanation. [Reuters]

• Katrina Fernandez has the perfect solution in the face of confusing statements by Pope Francis. [The Crescat]

• Bill Donohue may come off on the 24/7 news channels as … well, a bit high strung, but sometimes he calms down enough to where he makes really good sense, in this issue ripped from the headlines. [Catholic League]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
             

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Seven Holy Brothers Edition)

The Bishop of Mosul in Iraq has announced that his diocese no longer exists, as for the first time in twelve hundred years, the Holy Mass was not celebrated there, with Muslim forces overrunning the country, and the massive persecution of Christians. But hey, we've got bigger things to worry about, like which pope's native country is going to win the World Cup. #priorities

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Today the Western church remembers the seven sons of Saint Felicitas, who watched them receive the crown of martyrdom before her very eyes circa 150 or 165. One of the brothers, San Marziale (Saint Martialis/Saint Marshall) is remembered with a festival typically held on July 10th or near that date in Philadelphia. [SQPN]

• “All are welcome, all are welcome, all are welcome in this place. Let us build a house where love is found in water, wine, and wheat …” Hey, could we sing something even more trite, and who let Michael Voris in here? [Standing On My Head]

• Speaking of which, will somebody tell a certain Catholic in Brooklyn that, if your parish is going to name something with the word “Pride” in it, as a pretext to speaking the truth about Church teaching (as opposed to ignoring it so everybody thinks you're swell), something is bound to get lost in the translation? [Catholic in Brooklyn]

• Some priest in the UK who (apparently) only goes by the name of “Ches” wonders with Father Ray Blake where all the Catholic bloggers have gone. Maybe getting into stupid arguments on Facebook. [The Sensible Bond]

• Finally, has anyone thought about who HE might want to win the World Cup? Just sayin'... [sportsgrid]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saints John and Paul Edition)

This is a chart showing the number of Jesuits worldwide. The über-trad upstarts at Rorate Caeli contend that the falling numbers are more evidence of all that is wrong with the Church since Vatican II. The assumption, of course, is that the key to solving the problem is to have more Jesuits.

While they're discerning the flaw in this line of reasoning, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Marc Barnes thinks that "popes should resign more often," employing arguments that fail to take into account why so few have ever resigned up to now. [Bad Catholic]

• “New Catholic” continues his anonymous crusade for the Truth, in the matter of the Holy Father's kinda-sorta excommunication of the Mafia. It seems that no particular names are mentioned. Neither is his. Or is it hers? [Rorate Caeli]

• Caleb Alexander (no relation, probably) discusses how troublemakers in discussions on the internet are so often encouraged by the attention they get. [Barefoot and Pregnant]

• This looked like a joke upon first glance, but no, it's serious. [Corpus Christi Watershed]

• Finally, Pope Francis tells theologians that the “sensus fidelium” does not mean a majority opinion. After all, “who are they to judge?” [Catholic Herald]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Corpus Christi Edition)

The big story in the world of Catholic new media this past week (if only off the beaten path) is the threat to close and sell off Manhattan's Holy Innocents Church, where parishioners spent a gazillion dollars to restore its interior and lavish painted mural ceiling, merging it with the "inclusive" (depending on your point of view) Saint Francis of Assisi parish, while also keeping open another nearby "inclusive" parish, Saint Francis Xavier. To the casual observer, a sin that cries to vengeance is a heresy that Cardinal Dolan can live with, but not the Traditional Mass.

Michael Voris his featured here once again taking twice as long as necessary with his own report on the subject. Of course, as is usually the case, there is another side to this story, which is featured below, but this writer cannot help but wonder whether a certain high churchman in Gotham isn't having yet another "Oops-I-Did-It-Again" moment.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Pope Francis said that Christians do not exist outside the Catholic Church. Really, he said that, and was rather unambiguous about it. For once. [Now The End Begins]

• … which begs the question, are we living in the end times? The short answer is, yes, for nearly two thousand years. Father Dwight Longnecker provides a longer one. [Standing On My Head]

• There is often either a right way or a wrong way to go about things. With respect to the controversy highlighted above, what follows is the view from a certain Catholic in Brooklyn, with a few key points of reasoning mysteriously overlooked. Can you find them? [Catholic in Brooklyn]

• More on the madness in Manhattan, this time from a traditionalist Anglican source. [Virtue Online]

• In yet another instance of foot-in-mouth disease, former Speaker of the House and "ardent Catholic" Nancy Pelosi, having demonstrated in the past not knowing Augustine from a hole in the ground, has ordered the Archbishop of San Francisco not to participate in a pro-marriage rally. His Excellency begs to differ. [CatholicVote]

• Finally, we simply cannot help ourselves whenever there appears any report of a kerfuffle involving the Archbishop of New York, His Immenseness Timothy Cardinal Dolan, and so we bring you, once again, our usual tribute for such occasions. [man with black hat]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday, and stick around to march in the Corpus Christi procession, especially if it's in a town where they stop traffic for it. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Ember Week Edition)

The week of Ember Days near the end of the Easter season has traditionally been devoted to the ordination of deacons and priests. Many of us have seen young men bestowed with Holy Orders of late. It is then that they learn their first assignments; indeed, that other priests and deacons learn of any re-assignments.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• The gospel passages in recent weeks have told of Our Lord leaving his disciples, and of the coming of the Holy Spirit as “the Paraclete.” You only think you know what is meant by the Greek word paraclesis. [The High Calling]

• Well, there he goes again. Pope Francis said that "rigid traditionalists and cafeteria Catholics" aren't really Catholics ... [Seasons of Grace]

• … or did he? [The Crescat]

• Religion journalist Abby Carr reveals something that at least one Christian teen could have told her forty years ago, that youth groups actually drive Christian teens to abandon their faith. [CharismaNews]

• The Psalmist wrote that “He who sits in the heavens laughs.” (2:4) And there's a reason. [Te Deum laudamus!]

• Illinois Supreme Court Justice Anne Burke once headed an advisory board to the bishops' conference on the priest child-sex-abuse scandal, and once accused the Archbishop of Chicago of being “disingenuous” about what he knew about the crisis. And speaking of disingenuous ... [Chicago Sun-Times]

• Finally, a conference held recently devoted a great deal of discussion to the prospect of women as deacons. Unfortunately, the panel of experts did not include someone who has studied the subject in some detail WITHOUT preconceived notions. Prepare to be enlightened. [man with black hat]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Special “Hot Button” Edition)

If you've been following the world of Catholic new media, you know two things. The first is that the current pontificate is giving both the so-called "neo-Catholics" and the so-called "rad trads" plenty of ammunition to use on the other. The second is that if it didn't, they'd both have to make something up. Some people even post a variation on Facebook of something they said in the same venue two days earlier, just to sit back and watch the comments pile up.

So, this edition of Loose Lips is dedicated to the few, the proud, the ones who need to grow the hell up. And on that promising note … here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Katrina Fernandez has conceded to her place on the Patheos Catholic Channel strictly for "comic relief," but lately she may be the only one who doesn't have to. This week, she calls for a pax upon this house (and just when some of you were having SO much fun). [The Crescat]

• Kevin Tierney is a “papal traditionalist” (as we used to call them) who notes the long term consequences of high vitriol in low places, when it comes to discussing matters of the Faith, and why he stopped blogging at the end of last month. [Common Sense Catholicism]

• Vittorio Messori claims that “Ratzinger did not withdraw to a private life. Here is why we truly have two Popes.” He then proceeds to describe what he calls a “diarchy.” Someone needs to ask those yahoos at Rorate: “DUUUDE? DIARCHY?? THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL WORD!!!” [Rorate Caeli]

• Joe Heschmeyer knows that the only thing worse than having two popes, is having no pope, and for a really really long time. He also says that (if only beyond theory) a sustained state of sedevacantism is impossible. He's not the only one, but he said it lately, so ... [Shameless Popery]

• Mark Shea wants all the rad trads out there to know, that he really does not care about what happens to the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate, and he will keep posting about it, and telling them why he really does not care, until everybody on Facebook stops sending him hundreds of comments each time he tells them that he really does not care. Really. [Catholic And Enjoying It]

• And last but not least, Frank Weathers isn't phased about recent events, nosiree Bob! He knows that Saint John of the Cross has a perfectly good explanation for the kerfuffle, how “what happened last week in the Catholic blogging world is all one big rookie mistake.” Fortunately, he elaborates. [Why I Am Catholic]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (My Kid Brother’s Birthday Edition)

This edition of our usual Thursday feature appears on the same day as my kid brother's birthday. That's all of us on Easter Sunday back in 1963, with Steve on the right. (It was during his bow-tie phase.) Closer to the present, he also wears a black hat, but since he wouldn't dare settle for being a cheap imitation of the real thing, he has his own style -- not an "outback" hat, but a "bowler."

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• If we're going to name a pope "the Great" if he gets enough media exposure, it might be helpful to know just how short the list is, and why. [Catholic Answers]

• Filed under "We Should Have Seen This Coming," a joint arrangement between a Catholic and an Episcopal parish -- "blended" is what it's called, or something -- [The Deacon's Bench]

• Hey, how's that gay marriage thing working out with the "United" Methodists? [Reason.TV]

• If just about every development in Western civilization was invented by either the Church or one of Her people, it should come as no surprise that a priest invented ... [Crisis]

• A girl wears a tuxedo with a bow-tie for her Catholic high school yearbook photo instead of a dress as required. The school pulls the photo. Everybody who pays an awful lot of money to attend a school that teaches what they don't believe has a fit. Go figure. [The Deacon's Bench]

• Finally, a bunch of idiots in Cincinnati pay for a billboard that asks if Pope Francis would sign the new Catholic school teacher contract. He already has a job. Besides, who are they to judge? [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Apparition of Saint Michael the Archangel Edition)

Matthew Archbold at Creative Minority Report found this at Gloria.TV as an instance of "grotesque liturgical abuse." I have no idea what the hell's going on here, but it would appear to be taking place in Germany, which has seen a lot of this sort of thing lately, probably the result of a generation overcompensating for their grandparents being Nazis. I'm not sure this will help.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• For those who love happy endings, veteran pro-life activist Joe Scheidler has won his case in court against his pro-death enemies, who are now to pay his court costs. [Seasons of Grace]

• The Bishop of Lancaster, England, maintains that he has not ordered the shutting down of a deacon's blog entitled "Protect the Pope." No, he simply ordered an open-ended period of "prayer and reflection" (which is chancery-speak for "taken to the woodshed") and then told his wife to stop posting for him. That's not the same thing … is it? After all, we cannot have disunity among our ranks. People might think we have a problem with dissenters against the Faith running loose and … uh, wait a minute. [The Deacon's Bench]

• More on the spot of unpleasantness in Lancaster. [Eccles is saved]

• In an unrelated story of getting the wrong kind of attention, the priest who sang for a couple's wedding while presiding over it has a possible recording contract in the works. Isn't that great? [Restore DC Catholicism]

• Is there an overabundance of hero worship of popes in recent generations? Did it start with the present one? [The Week]

• We've seen new converts suddenly thrust into the limelight over their well-published and well-publicized conversion stories. Do they have a shelf life? Are they like seeds that fall among the thorns? [Catholic Exchange]

• Finally, we've heard a lot about the scheduled "Black Mass" at Harvard. Maybe they're using a pre-consecrated host, maybe not. But everybody's weighed in with an opinion, most of them useless. At Patheos, of all places, former celebrity-chaser Dawn Eden (Goldstein) talks about something other than herself to engage in some actual investigative journalism. ("You'd better sit down, kids …") [Feast of Eden]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Joseph the Worker Edition)

Hey, kids, check out the reworked Vatican website, with outdated code dating to the 90s. Jeff Miller and William Newton give the lowdown on antiquated code and morally sinful usability. Oh well, they kept the parchment background.

Here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• Now that Patheos has effectively become the McDonalds of Catholic new media, we can rest assured in knowing that one of its pundits cares enough to tell us, that she supposedly does not care about something the Pope supposedly did or did not do. [Public Catholic]

• Lawrencinium Tiberius Rochenhoffenstauffengreensteinberg-Jones (the kind of nom de plume you adopt after too many years of living in your parents' basement), can't figure out how the Pope can give a supposedly adulterous woman a pass on one occasion, and uphold the sanctity of marriage the next. After all, when I want the straight skinny on what's happening in the Church today ... oh yeah, I'm gonna read the New York Times. [A Blog for Dallas Area Catholics]

• With all that has been said (or maybe should not have been said) about the recent canonizations of two popes of recent memory, if you had only two minutes to find out whether the decrees enjoyed the authority given by Christ to His Church "to bind and to loose" under heaven and earth, click here and call it a day. [The Hermeneutic of Continuity]

• What do you do after you've parlayed the story of your conversion to the Faith, into a best-selling book and a reality television show? Rewrite the former and call it a "memoir." After all, Baby needs a new pair of shoes. [Catholic World Report]

• Now that the Pope has opened this (yet another) can of worms, are we going to have married priests? Can we afford them? Let's ask one. [Standing On My Head]

• A deacon has been told by his bishop to shut down his blog dedicated to the defense of the papacy. His wife has more recently been directed to stop posting on her husband's behalf. What could possibly go wrong? [Protect The Pope]

• Anyone who thinks that a declaration of nullity for a marriage is "automatic" is an idiot, if only because nothing that takes twelve to eighteen months could be described in that way. But there's much more to it than that, and someone finally lifts the veil on that which is much more than it appears. [Aleteia]

• Finally, the thing that is missing in public discourse is the same thing missing in most discussions in Catholic social media. Learn the secret of how yours truly wins all his arguments on Facebook. [Crisis]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Easter Thursday and/or Saint Fidelis of Sigmaringen Edition)

Before we continue our usual Thursday evening feature, here is a video of a parish in Germany conducting that venerable tradition as prelude to the Washing of Feet on Holy Thursday, known as The March of the Wooden Chairs. Meanwhile, we've got some catching up to do, and so ...

Here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• In a related story, former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi feels strangely at home following the example of Pope Francis by washing the feet of Episcopalians. [Standing On My Head]

• Steve Skojec is outraged that “Pope Francis called an Argentine woman married to a divorced man and reportedly told her that she could receive the sacrament of Communion, according to the woman’s husband.” After all, when I want the straight skinny on what's happening inside the Vatican ... oh yeah, I'm gonna watch CNN. [Steve Skojec]

• The priest in Ireland who sang an adaptation of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" at a couple's wedding, explains his sudden popularity, and (whether he admits it or not) why the wedding really was all about him. [link]

• The truth is out, you cannot offend Matthew Archbold so easily, not like everybody else out there for whom the new media has made them so prickly at the slightest prospect of disagreement. (I'm also no longer offended because he stopped answering my emails after I helped to catapult him and his brother to fame. C'est la vie.) [NCRegister]

• Ms Brinkman reports on the "outing" of the alleged visionary known as “Maria Divine Mercy” ... [Women of Grace]

• ... but at least now we know who she really is. [Midway Street]

• Father Martin Fox of Cincinnati reports on the teachers at a local parish school, who are so pissed that they have to abide by the teaching of the institution where they, uh, teach, that they want to school the Archbishop, who ends up schooling them. [Bonfire of the Vanities]

• Speaking of getting schooled, Father Ted Martin wants to help couples who cohabitate before marriage by trying the iron-fist-in-velvet-glove approach. He fails to mention what you do if there are no family with whom to live separately during the pre-Cana phase, or what to do if one of the parties cannot get out of their lease without paying through the nose. And what if they really cannot keep their hands off one another, or cannot always have a chaperone on duty when they have to talk about what course to serve at the reception? Not so simple, is it, Padre? [Homiletic and Pastoral Review]

• Finally, we take a look inside the world of those who attend Mass in the wee small hours of the morning. [Aleteia]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Passion Thursday Edition)

This is a video shot during a Wedding Mass, in which the priest burst into song for some reason, causing the bride to be moved to tears. We should all be moved to tears -- every time some aging adolescent in a Roman collar thinks it's all about him.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• On the matter of the aforementioned, we have the story behind the story. [The Christian Post]

• Yours truly used to belong to this parish. It was a nice place once, before it got all weenie on everybody. I'm wondering if this guy had the slightest idea that he might one day get caught. Probably not. [The Deacon's Bench]

• George Weigel takes Cardinal O'Malley to task for celebrating Mass at a border fence, which makes for a great photo-op, but ... [National Catholic Reporter]

• ... as a proper venue for Holy Mass, canonist Edward Peters determines that it is another matter entirely. [In The Light Of The Law]

• They're going berserk in Berkeley, but this time it's not the rising cost of weed, but the removal of a priest from campus ministry. What was first reported as a draconian move by the local bishop turns out to be one of those what-the-hell-did-you-expect moments. [link]

• And finally, reports of Pope Francis as a "put-down artist," towards those who would otherwise be loyal to his authority, is given a thorough review, ending with a twist. [New Oxford Review]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday, not to mention much of the week that follows, when our usual schedule will be interrupted by the "High Holydays" of the Christian year. Until the next chattel of church chat -- that would be in two weeks -- stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Laetare Thursday Edition)

From everything we've heard about the new movie “Noah” starring the totally awesome bad@$$ Russell Crowe, it probably should have been named “Attack of the Tree-Hugging Rock People.” Or something. But director Darren Aronofsky, while admitting to a departure from the biblical account (also done in the opening title, as if that wasn't enough), defends his work in this interview on CNN. More on that later.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• Darren Aronofsky is not alone. [The Matt Walsh Blog]

• Someone saw a female American official wear a black pantsuit when greeting the pope in a private audience, so the conclusion was that the dress code in the Vatican wasn't as strict as it used to be. Au contraire, mon frere! [The Deacon's Bench]

• "Equivalent canonizations." What the hell is that??? [Catholic News Service]

• Is the Society of Jesus (Jesuits) greater than the Order of Preachers (Dominicans)? Three of the latter make their case, in a venue devoted to the former -- or at least it was. There's a story behind the story, but read the first story, uh, first. [The Jesuit Post]

• There are occasionally accounts of incidents where, the more answers are provided, the more questions they raise. Unfortunately, this is one of them. (Read the comments section. It includes what all the pretend-pundits have mysteriously omitted.) [The American Catholic]

• Thomas Aquinas wrote: “When the faith is in imminent peril, prelates ought to be accused by their subjects, even in public.” Some guy goes to great lengths -- a little too great, so settle down for a long one -- to get around that. [Mary Victrix]

• Finally, and in the face of the above, Thomas McDonald believes it's time for Catholics to get a serious grip on themselves -- as yours truly has done all along. [God and the Machine]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (St John Damascene Edition)

“This video is unlisted. Be considerate and think twice before sharing.” Okay, so I thought about it once, then I thought about it again, then I shared it anyway -- because, yeah, Cardinal Burke really does name names.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• Another bishop, Philip Egan of Portsmouth, England, has asked Catholics to use Lent to repent of sins against charity committed on social media, citing the words of Saint John Chrysostom: “The road to hell is paved with the skulls of bloggers.” (No, it wasn't bloggers, actually.) [The Catholic Herald]

• In a related story, you have to give credit to Taylor Marshall for knowing a trend worth following, now that we're all ashamed of labeling our fellow Catholics. (Speak for yourself, Doc.) [Taylor Marshall]

• Speaking of which, Carol McKinley says that “if you are a Catholic blogger, keep your distance from the Chancery.” What follows is a cautionary tale of the need to be "clever as snakes" as well as "meek as doves." We report, you decide. [The Tenth Crusade]

• In a case of chastity pledges gone terribly wrong, this one designates Daddy as his little girl's "boyfriend," while she is still married to God until the real thing comes along. Should God, Daddy, or the little girl be the most creeped out? Discuss. [The Daily Mail]

• In a related story (or maybe not), a cardinal helped a boy ask a girl to the prom. Yep, it's that time of year again, and some guys will try anything. [The Deacon's Bench]

• And now, more of that theology-of-the-body action, as The Remnant gets everybody all stirred up. [Catholic Stand]

• As second President of the United States, John Adams was so virulently anti-Catholic, that he wanted them all deported from the young Nation. Closer to the present, another former President, also a Protestant, attacks the Catholic Church, and we're supposed to care. [CatholicCulture.org]

• Finally, this was going to happen sooner or later, and it happened today: “[T]he encounter has been charged with the politics of the world’s most powerful nation and one of its most influential religious movements, and by a pair of men who have sought to change the public character of the institutions they run.” (Washington Post, March 27, 2014) [National Catholic Register]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Vernal Equinox Edition)

The twisted dance goes on in the world of Catholic new media, as various subgroups among the faithful turn on one another. Whether it's speaking the Truth in Love, or just whoring for attention, there's no reason we can't just sit back and have a little fun with it.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of Believers lately:

• Earlier this week, the planet's axis did a slight realignment. If you felt it, it was right about the time Mark Shea congratulated Michael Voris for the release of the latter's statement against openly attacking the Holy Father. [Catholic and Enjoying It]

• In a related story, there is concern that Mark is becoming more like Mike, and Mike is becoming more like Mark. In the midst of this unexpected love fest, who do you suppose wants a piece of the action? [The Tenth Crusade]

• Elsewhere, there are more than lies and falsehoods getting trapped and exposed, and David Gray is searching for the meaning of it all. (Good luck with that, by the way.) [Catholic Stand]

In other news ...

• If you're looking for an alternative to macaroni and cheese, you'll never guess what else qualifies as seafood. The Friday night fish fry just got a little more interesting. [Catholic News Agency]

• Lent is also a time to reflect upon the lives of the saints, especially the weird ones. [Mental Floss]

• Given all of the above, is it time for bishops and bloggers to meet at the table, once they agree on a committee to organize the seating arrangements? Don't hold your breath. [Catholic Herald]

• Finally, and on an uplifting note (for a change), we bring you a web-based documentary on the “Cristo Redentor” (Christ the Redeemer) in Rio de Janiero. With arms wide open, and in spite of ourselves, He awaits us. [BBC]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.