Nobis Post Hoc Exsilium

"And after this, our exile ..."

Such is a phrase from the Marian antiphon Salve Regina (Hail Holy Queen). Our life on earth is but a moment compared to the reality of eternity. But even in that short time, one passes through transitions, such that one begins to wander in the desert, in search of whatever is next.

Most readers know (if any are leftover after following the pack from Patheos jump ship for Aleteia as if we couldn't see that coming) that I left my position as a Master of Ceremonies at a parish in northern Virginia last January, after more than eight years, and that I began training altar servers for the Traditional Mass at a parish in northeast Washington DC. The latter a couple of weeks ago, when the pastor decided that I had given him whatever guidance he needed to continue training the servers himself.

That deal was little more than two months. We'll see how it works out in about six months. Yes, I'm that good.

He might have done me a favor. I realized I needed a break from the commitment. The esteemed Catholic writer, lecturer, and unapologetic monarchist Charles Coloumbe once did a regular feature for the Los Angeles Lay Catholic Mission entitled “Roamin' Catholic,” where he went from one parish to another to describe the experience of Sunday Mass. I'm not sure I can do justice to his astute coverage, but starting this past Sunday, and for the next several weeks, I'm never going to the same place twice in a row. Maybe I'll have something to say, and maybe I won't. Not all experiences will be Traditional Latin Masses, and not all will be Roman. They will run the gamut.

I may end up running and screaming from at least one of them. Stay tuned ...
 

Dancing Around the Issues

(The following was intended for publication on the 15th of March, but was intentionally delayed so as not to interfere with Holy Week and the Paschal Triduum.)

“It is not surprising to suggest to faithful Catholics that the time has passed for being silent. What if the time has also passed for being polite? Social media has become the public arena of choice, an arena where the playing field is level, and all bets are off. If you commit a public sacrilege with no apologies, be prepared to get called out on it, and have no one to blame but yourself. If you're a bishop who can't be bothered with the legitimate concerns of faithful Catholics, be prepared to look inadequate to the task, and (you guessed it) have no one to blame but yourself. Say all you want about playing nice, but it hasn't worked, and the Powers That Be are left with the fruits of their indifference. If this level of outrage is to be contained, it must begin at the source. That would be the problem itself, not the reaction.”

Let the games begin.
 

Dancing Around the Issues

This past February saw a parish in Seattle fall victim to a hate crime.

At least that's what some would have you believe. Saint Patrick's Church, located north of downtown in the Portage Bay neighborhood of the city, has what could politely be termed a rather enthusiastic liturgical life, complete with dancing and movement and banner-waving and what-not. They haven't been all that ashamed of it, having until recently chosen to make it public on Facebook. They got a response they weren't expecting, in the form of a barrage of criticism from faithful Catholics in social media, who are tired of the nonsense, irreverence, the desecration of the house of God, whether it happens at the parish down the road, or Down Under. The extent of outrage took the parish in question by surprise, to the point where they removed their Facebook page, so that the photos of their celebrations would be free of harassment.

Well, maybe not entirely.

Enter the predictable punditry, as William Bornhoft admonishes us to respond with love, or something.

"Parish problems should be dealt with on the parish level, when possible. If that fails, they should be dealt with on the diocesan level, and so on. This is entirely in keeping with our teaching of subsidiarity. Rather than behaving like prideful whistleblowers appealing to the online masses when we are offended, we should properly communicate our grievances through the Church’s hierarchy ..."

In response, Joseph Shaw of the UK-based Latin Mass Society reminded Mister Nice Guy, that recourse to dialogue and persuasion hasn't always worked with unreasonable people ...

I think it is worth doing this because it leaves a paper-trail and goes into files. When history comes to be written, no one will be able to say that the laity acquiesced in what is going on. Historians with access to the files will be able to see that we constantly tested the system, and were constantly, with rare exceptions, rebuffed.

But we pay a price for this activity. Mr Bornhoft will be mortified to learn that this kind of thing is regarded, and denounced, by many of the people who hear our complaints or see our letters as aggressive, uncharitable, and contrary to a proper Catholic attitude. The accusations he makes of those posting comments on Facebook are exactly those made of those who are doing what he thinks they should be doing. It has happened to me ...

... and "unreasonable" is exactly what we're dealing with here, as the example to follow will demonstrate.

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Much has been written in recent decades about much that has been written; in particular, letters to the local bishop or to Rome by ordinary Catholics, citing their concern over things gone wrong, attacks on the Church from within. Whether abuses against the sacred liturgy in the local parish, errors against the Faith proclaimed from the pulpit or local "theological institute," or women Religious escorting pregnant women to abortion clinics, not to mention other attitude problems -- the list goes on. We are told to "go up the ladder" of the hierarchical system, to be short and to the point, to be excruciatingly polite, with every "t" crossed, every "i" dotted, every jot and tittle correctly jotted and tittled -- and to bide our time.

Basically, to kiss more than their rings.

One would think that the discovery of deception, over the sexual indiscretions of priests in the past generation, would have altered the sympathies of those in the pews. (It sure has hell altered mine.) Father Zuhlsdorf has counseled us, and one could say, wisely so, as to the right and wrong way to address our concerns in writing to the sacred pastors of the Church. He should know, too, since he worked in the Vatican for a number of years, and knows how complaints are handled (or aren't, depending on their merit). It is simply based upon the admonition “in omnia, caritas” -- in all things, charity; not to mention that old saying that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

IMAGE: Catholic Answers, Inc. Used here without permission or shame.

Then, of course, there are the miscreants who ignore that good advice. It is they who become what My Very Close Personal Friend Father Paul Scalia refers to as “The Church Belligerent.”

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One year ago this month, Katrina “The Crescat” Fernandes Ebersole related her experience at the parish of her grandmother's funeral. This included the celebrant imploring the people to stand for the Eucharistic Prayer, and Katrina herself being denied Communion on the tongue, to the point where the priest actually grabbed her by the hand. She also describes how, shortly before her grandmother's passing, the parish secretary denied arranging for a visit from the priest when her grandmother was dying, offering instead to have a "lay minister" come and give a blessing.

Shortly after that story was published, she issued a clarification of events that transpired, including the profound apology on the part of the priest himself, and that she was satisfied with his overture.

Of course, you know another old saying, that "everybody has to get into the act." The mere reference in this venue to such a stalwart-albeit-anonymous fellow may provoke our readers to ask: “Yo, Mighty Black-Hatted One, what more could you in all your pompous pontificating possibly presume to produce as proxy to this predicament?”

Ah, dear minions, how easily one would cut this writer to the quick! Or was there any thought given as to just how this local brouhaha came to such a happy and expedient ending?

It is here that yours truly would dare to tell the untold story, which may or may not have had an effect, but which was undertaken on one's own volition, without prior knowledge or approval of our hapless (and more famous and well-loved) heroine. For it was while overcome with outrage, and just a dash of chivalry, that this writer decided to bring the affair via electronic mail, to the attention of the Most Reverend Francis Xavier DiLorenzo, DD, STD, Bishop of Richmond, Virginia, the diocese in which this adolescent personality cult masquerading as a parish is situated. But did we stop there? Oh no, we're much too clever for that. We copied it to the one person to whom His Excellency would eventually turn and say, "Handle it." In this case, that would be the Reverend Monsignor Mark Richard Lane, D Min, Vicar General, Moderator of the Curia*, and Vicar for Clergy.

And so what follows is the relevant correspondence at this little corner of the internet, in order of occurrence.

On Wednesday, March 11, 2015 1:47 PM, David L Alexander wrote:

Your Excellency:

There is an account of an incident that occurred recently in your diocese, and it is going viral. Its nature is such as to make right-this-damn-minute a very good time to read about it.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat/2015/03/denied-communion-on-the-tongue-at-my-grandmothers-funeral.html

You might be interested to know just how much this is getting around.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/standingonmyhead/2015/03/pita-priests-pastoral-slap-down-at-a-funeral.html

I'm going to assume that the use of illicit or invalid matter for Holy Communion might be a concern of yours. On the chance that it may not be, I seem to recall that the incident as described by the woman, upon attempting to receive Communion, constitutes assault according to the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia. (No, I'm not a lawyer, just a guy who knows what "tell it to the judge" means.) Maybe you're okay with that as long as it didn't involve sexual abuse or losing money. Others in high places and less beholden to you may feel differently.

That, and there were probably a whole bunch of witnesses.

I would suggest that you might dispense with the usual countermeasures of saving face, as it's generally too late once there's egg on it. Further, I submit that it serves your best interests to personally apologize (that means, meet her face to face and actually talk to her, while being just a little inconvenienced) to the woman in question, and remove the priest from his position. Let there be no room for doubt that this is not the sort of approach which the Diocese of Richmond takes in the administration of the sacraments, or in pastoral care.

It is said that she is planning to contact you. I am doing this of my own volition, because I am tired of reading stories like this, not to mention the bureaucratic bullshit nonsense that usually follows it.

Finally, and in case it has occurred to you, I stopped being overly polite about things like this a long time ago. That's the bad news. The good news for you (not to mention the priest in question) is that it didn't happen to me.

I'd be a lot less polite than I am now.

In corde Jesu,

David L Alexander
Arlington, Virginia

Now, that wasn't very nice, was it?

No, it wasn't. And by all accounts, it broke every rule which the Z-Man would impart to us. I really didn't think I deserved the courtesy of a response. I didn't expect one. A number of factors came into play while writing this, however, among them an outrage of sufficient magnitude that I didn't give a rat's ass.

Assorted malfeasance from the neighboring diocese has been fodder for local stories among faithful Catholics for many years. One might imagine that there has been sufficient time for somebody in charge down there to corral a few misbehavers. Alas (and this might be a chance to speak in the good bishop's defense), the biggest single challenge faced by any diocesan bishop is that of clergy personnel. A number of issues -- keeping them all busy and reasonably content in their assignment, finding enough of them to even fill every assignment, the mere obligatory handful of those with more than their share of growing up to do, and so on -- require a good portion of a bishop's day. And a presbyterate that is unaccustomed to a collective sense of self-discipline (a malady from which my own Diocese of Arlington has been relatively spared) can make that even more difficult, especially when you can't exactly fire them, and when they know it, and when you know they know, and when they know that you know that they … well, you get the idea.

IMAGE: A day in the life of St Thérèse of Lisieux Church, Chesapeake, Virginia. Used here without permission or shame.

So, imagine the surprise two days later (right about the time that Katrina issued her clarification) when this rogue warrior received the following unsolicited response, to that which was penned two days earlier, in his inbox.

On Friday, March 13, 2015 3:51 PM, Kevin O'Brien wrote:

To whom it may concern,

I received your email about the incident that happened this past Monday at the woman’s grandmother’s funeral. I would like to make several comments.

First, I have written an apology to the woman for not giving her Communion on the tongue. The pieces of the Body of Christ were brittle and I thought that it would be safer to place it in her hand. I was wrong. I should not have done that. I made a terrible mistake. I learned an important lesson and I will not make that mistake again.

Second, there are people in our parish who regularly wish to receive Communion on the tongue and I gladly give it to them on the tongue. Monday I made a split second decision and I was wrong. I am truly sorry. This is not a usual occurrence.

Third, the bread that we use at Eucharist here at the parish is not “pita bread.” It is in compliance with the guidelines set by the American Catholic Bishops.

Fourth, if someone is dying, I always respond to their request and visit the person as soon as possible.

Thank you for taking the time to contact me regarding this issue. God’s Blessings always!

Sincerely Yours,
Rev. Kevin J. O’Brien

Now, even an arrogant son of a b**** such as myself is not one to kick a man when he's down. If only to remove all doubt, I made an exception.

On Friday, March 13, 2015 8:44 PM, David L Alexander wrote:

Father O'Brien:

Thank you for your letter to me. I found it most contrite. Then again ...

I would surmise that your superiors brought my correspondence with them (as opposed to any of mine directly to you) to your attention. To wit, the action described by Ms Fernandes, whereby you allegedly grabbed her by the hand as she attempted to receive Communion, constitutes assault according to the laws of the Commonwealth of Virginia. If this is the case, you are most fortunate that she does not take any further action. I can assure you that I would have been far less accommodating.

Reception on the tongue is normative in the Latin church, while reception in the hand is an indulgence, at the discretion of the bishop or conference of bishops. If you remember from those lectures on canon law, a lower authority cannot restrict that which a higher authority allows. (The latter would be Rome, not the bishops conference.)

As to the form of bread used for confecting the Sacrament, I took the time to examine the recipe that your parish uses. While it appears to meet the criterion set down by the Apostolic See for validity and licitness (the declarations of the bishops conference notwithstanding), there is always the danger of even the smallest of particles falling to the ground (or left on the hands with the communicant unaware, photos available upon request), especially when the form of the Sacrament is, as you describe it, "brittle." I recommend that you either employ servers to accompany you and other ministers with patens, or use a more conventional form of hosts. True, the latter takes away some of the romance, but not the essence.

I also recommend that you initiate serious catechesis with your staff and volunteers, regarding the differences in the roles of priests and laity; more to the point, that a layman offering a blessing to the dying is not of the same order as the administration of the Last Rites. When I prayed the "Proficiscere" over my dying father three years ago, I was under no illusion that it would have replaced Viaticum and the Apostolic Pardon which he had received earlier. Neither should it be.

And so there is no misunderstanding, Father, you have ABSOLUTELY NO AUTHORITY WHATSOEVER to compel the faithful to stand during the Eucharistic Prayer. I trust that manner of coercion will cease immediately. You are hardly in a position to disagree. The proper gesture is to kneel. PERIOD!

Finally, I can tell you that the tone of my letter to His Excellency was most intemperate. In my dealings with both priests and prelates as a master of ceremonies, I show the highest respect for the sacerdotal office. Unfortunately, I know this woman well enough to know the challenges she has faced in life, and how her faith has sustained her. I was so incensed at the offenses described to me (not to mention the entire internet), that I was moved to respond as I did.

We ask so much of our priests (including yourself), such that those whom they serve would grant them more latitude in their human failings. Once in a great while, one who serves will take undue advantage. Once in a great while, those whom he serves look the other way. In time, they may do it all too often. I would consider the possibility that you may not have been well served in this respect. I pray that such imprudence does not plague you too much in the future. Too many souls are in need of you.

In return for your taking this time to write, I feel obliged to inform others of your humble contrition, for the sake of your good name. Thank you again for writing me. I can only imagine how hard this must have been for a man in your position.

Oremus pro invicem!

David L Alexander
Arlington, Virginia

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I should say at this point that Ms Ebersole was informed recently about the correspondence (if not shown its substance), and of my intention to publish it. The above is not necessarily a reflection of her own views on the matter, let alone how such incidents might be confronted, but are solely those of this writer. She has been assured that she can safely disavow any association with, or prior knowledge of, the aforementioned correspondence. The author (that would be me) has proceeded on the understanding of there being no objection.

That being said ...

Was the above a factor in a resolution of a pastoral matter? I don't know. I don't expect to.

But here's what I do know. The majority of a certain generation of priests have engaged in years of adolescent behavior, of such nature and extent that would never be tolerated in any other venue in real life, and have enjoyed such indulgence with little consequence if any, and I'm about as sick and tired of it as anyone else. At the age of sixty-plus years, it is in most areas of life, that I am expected to act my age. It doesn't seem to happen with many who pursue a life of "professional ministry." I have seen lives and marriages and reputations ruined. I have seen the good priests suffer for standing with correct belief and correct worship. I have seen those among the faithful who have lost their faith.

All this, so that a tired and perverse status quo might be held together with the bailing wire that is the code of silence, casually explained away as "the good of the Church," as though such would ever owe its preservation to a sinful act.

I would also invite the reader to pay attention to the paragraph highlighted in my response to the pastor. If one is to avoid the pitfalls that are part and parcel to the human condition, we must be aware, not only that our priests are only human, but that they are no more or less so than ourselves. It is important to take notice, not only of how much we need them, but how much they need us, and especially, how and why. We have a case where a priest was caught dead to rights, and has had to humble himself to all who would call him on his errors. He deserves notice for that much, and the vote of confidence that, perhaps, he might be just a little closer to the kingdom of Heaven; dare we might say, even more so than the rest of us.

It is not surprising to suggest to faithful Catholics that the time has passed for being silent. What if the time has also passed for being polite? Social media has become the public arena of choice, an arena where the playing field is level, and all bets are off. If you commit a public sacrilege with no apologies, be prepared to get called out on it, and have no one to blame but yourself. If you're a bishop who can't be bothered with the legitimate concerns of faithful Catholics, be prepared to look inadequate to the task, and (you guessed it) have no one to blame but yourself.** Say all you want about playing nice, but it hasn't worked, and the Powers That Be are left with the fruits of their indifference. If this level of outrage is to be contained, it must begin at the source. That would be the problem itself, not the reaction.

I remain hesitant to recommend to faithful Catholics the method I employed here, assuming it had any direct effect at all (other than finding out the hard way what I have to do to get any attention around here). Given the choice between honey and vinegar, that of the higher ground may be obvious. On the other hand (and in my defense), there are moments when the best results can be found with a fresh road kill.

In other words, sometimes you have to raise a big enough stink to get enough attention, don't you think?

Or don't you?

* The "moderator of the curia" is a position akin to a chief of staff. It is always held by a cleric, one who is often also the chancellor (the chief administrative officer or a diocesan bishop) and/or the vicar general (the chief delegate of a diocesan bishop, always a priest or auxiliary bishop).

** It is clear that the Bishop of Richmond is not among that number, and where he is concerned, yours truly stands corrected.
 

“We now return (ostensibly) to our regularly scheduled programming.”

In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been doing much writing lately, at least not here.

Several things contributed to the dry spell.

For the past three years, my readership has steadily dropped. This past year, in particular, has seen it go to about one-fourth of what it was previously. Obviously it didn't help that I wasn't writing as much, but there was more to the decision (or should I say, the indecision?) than that.

The Other “Francis Effect”

The reign of Pope Francis, whatever one might think of him, has created more internecine infighting in the past two years or more, both in the Catholic blogosphere, and in social media, than one could possibly imagine. It is virtually impossible to comment with any authority on anything he says and/or does, on any given day, without arousing the indignation of some yutz who read something, somewhere, God-only-knows-where, that I didn't have time to read, probably because I have a life. And even if I did, a Vatican press office that is out of control, and a pope who speaks off the cuff whenever a microphone appears within spittin' distance, renders it equally impossible to know who or what to believe. Francis has been misquoted any number of times, and for those occasions where he is not misquoted, the account often starts with a headline that is very misleading. It is true that at times he has spoken most clearly on the nature of sin and the reality of the Evil One. Perhaps his finest hour was when he appeared before a joint session of Congress, and warned American legislators that the family was in danger (although he failed to include the unborn, as if it would have killed him to do so), that in a culture that encouraged divorce, a growing number of young people were genuinely afraid of the idea of marriage. The good news is that he has actually committed no formal heresy to date.*

All that aside, Pope Francis tends to make extemporaneous comments with little forethought, even by his own admission. We find it difficult to imagine what may come over a man in such a responsible position, until we consider not only that such public dissemination of spontaneous remarks by a pope are a very recent phenomenon (and by virtue of this, for all we know, might be nothing new at all). The reality is that not every pope can be a rock star like John Paul II, or a well-published scholar like Benedict XVI. Many of the 266 men who have reigned as Vicar of Christ are merely the most ordinary of men, as was the foul-mouthed Fisherman who was the very first of them.

His studies amount to nothing substantial. The Jesuits [in Argentina] have no professors worthy of the name, the subjects were tossed about in an unscholarly manner, the philosophy would never be properly taught ... The liturgy was perfectly awful, no one knew Latin, Scriptural Studies were little less than a sham ... So what does Bergoglio know? With that sort of training, pretty much nothing. No Latin, no languages at all, for that matter. His Italian is awful, not a word of English, no French, let alone his clumsy Spanish! (I wonder what on earth he studied in Germany for a couple of months, as is reported, because, for that matter, he knows no German either. And he certainly did not earn a degree over there.)

Well, then, how come he was elected Pope? Search me.

The remark that seems to irk people the most, is when it appears that faithful Catholics are depicted as "pharisees," or worse. It's one thing to preach on this theme in the first person plural, quite another to do so in the second or third person plural. It brings to mind the way in which Father Paul Scalia once began a homily on the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican:

"I know what all of you are thinking right now: 'I'm glad I'm not like that Pharisee.' And that's the trap that we fall into …"

One of the resulting "effects" that I've noticed on the internet, has been the drawing of a form of battle lines among pundits. Make a comment that's strident enough, one way or the other, and you'll quickly be consigned to one ideological camp or another. You're either in the Mark Shea camp, or the Michael Voris camp. Being pushed over the edge with the latter might put you in the Michael Matt/Chris Vennari camp. (There may be other camps, but that seems to be the trifecta so far.)

Shea wants to bring home the point that Catholics, particularly those who identify as "orthodox" or "faithful," too easily confine themselves to a secular political identity, which has proven contrary to any genuine examination of Church teaching, especially on social justice issues. Whether his vitriol has proven too weary to be effective, or just plain obnoxious, has long been a matter of some conjecture. Meanwhile, a lot of traditional Catholics were totally gung-ho for Voris and his ChurchMilitant.com apostolate, until he broke with the conventional narrative, particularly in his coverage of the papacy, and he's been castigated by his former allies ever since. (That would be the third camp.) It is an ambitious effort that is emerging as the next EWTN, but the risk is one of forming around a single personality, which has been the downfall of many a lay apostolate.

This is the tempest in the teapot that many want to follow. Those who choose not to, who would rather venture elsewhere, risk getting drowned out amidst this cacophony. At some point, what is the point?

The “Catholic Celebrity” Phenomenon

We all know that life isn't fair, and that some endeavors will be more successful than others. It's to the really great writers that people look for answers, for explanations, for insights. In matters of faith, it's not only priests who are sought on the internet. Any number of lay men and women have found their voice amidst the bandwidth. Some are mere hobbyists, while others are seasoned professionals. In the early years of the Catholic blogging phenomenon, the best-known bloggers were already established in the Catholic print media, either as authors or columnists. A separate subset, if one that overlaps, was that of the high-profile convert. Maybe they were once an atheist, or an Evangelical pastor, or even a High Priest of the Church of Satan. They are no sooner bestowed with the gifts of the Holy Spirit, barely emerging from the ranks of the catechumate, than they are touted as experts on the subject. The angels and saints in truly rejoice with the news that a lost sheep has been found, but here on earth below, the buzz is often less about the conversion, and more about the converted. It's pretty obvious if you know where to look, or just wait for the obvious. An entire church publishing industry enables this dabbling of dilettantes, so good are they for business. And so it carries on.

I could tell stories here, but most of them don't bear repeating. These are the types that make the Faith into less a matter of believing, and more a matter of belonging. The Catholic Church is not a private club, orthodoxy is more than the ability to talk a good game, and we don't have an elitist caste. We are a communion of souls, a procession of pilgrims, all of them on their way to heaven. Some will venture off the beaten path, others will fall away altogether, but it's about the journey, even more so about what awaits them at the end. No prancing pundit fawned over at a book signing, who has their minions show someone the door, sets the tone for who may follow the way. They fool some of the people, some of the time, but sooner or later, they are found. They are better off just being a face in the pews.

Sometimes it doesn't matter what you write, when all it really takes is a gimmick to get enough attention. There has emerged a subset of Catholic blogs that are best characterized as local gadflies, established ostensibly to crusade within their city or diocese -- they usually have titles like “A Concerned Catholic Crusader from Walla Walla, Washington” -- but which soon venture beyond the confines of their geographic locality, not to mention their competence, often doing little more than regurgitating what someone else has written. What they lack in original thinking and intellectual rigor, they make up for with a fawning fan base in their comments boxes. Some of these ponderous pundits also lack in fortitude, as they attack their ecclesiastical adversaries behind a nom de plume, presumedly for fear of retribution, as if somehow they can't stop themselves from attacking people, ergo they can't help it if they have to be anonymous -- like the lily-livered, yellow-bellied, crusading cowards that they are.

Then there are the twits who demand charity and kindness in their comments boxes, when they don't demand it of themselves. What's worse than that, is that their readership is too stupid to know the difference. At the end of the day, when you have to compete with the plethora of over-decorated websites and overly-bad writing (and it's difficult to imagine people actually loving this stuff, but they do), it sort of takes the wind out of the sails -- and just when you were hoping that Facebook and Twitter would have thinned the herd of the riff-raff.

But none of that, by itself, is what has taken me away from this.

Tempus Fugit

Unlike some of these yahoos, I have a regular day job. Not only that, but a very busy one. Most readers know I work for an agency of the federal government in Washington DC. I don't identify that agency, either on the blogs or in social media, not because it's one of those top-security agencies like the CIA, or worse, but because of a deal I've worked out with the people for whom I work. I don't mention where I work or do this where I work, and they don't tell me what to write. I can deal with political issues, and matters concerning the federal workplace (where not nearly as many of us are lazy or overpaid as you'd like to think), without catching any heat.

And writing isn't even what I do for a living, at least not there.

For the first thirty years or so, I was a graphic designer, or as they like to call it, a "visual information specialist." My area of specialty was mostly in publications. About a decade ago, I realized I'd gone as far as I could go in that specialty -- an outside hire who was a lot younger and brought in at a higher grade was a sure sign -- and managed to work out a deal to have them pay for part of my return to college. After five years of diploma studies in web design, they decided that they didn't want me to be a web designer. (That's the short version. The long one is even more pathetic.) Fortunately, I had learned enough about certain types of animation software, that I managed to persuade them to let me venture into video editing. That led to getting behind a camera and more video editing, and eventually, a formal reclassification as an "audiovisual production specialist."

My work got a lot better in the past year. It had to; they hired a director for us who actually knew what the hell he was doing. That sort of meant that I had to know too. As a result, I've caught up pretty well since then, but at a price. Between the day job, and volunteer work, and just taking care of a house, I simply don't have the time I used to have before this past year. And, as I said, my readership dropped considerably. So I had to step back, more or less. I did more commentary on Facebook, which was more expedient, and more likely to gauge reaction (or get any at all). I gained a lot from that, mostly what I wanted to write, and how.

The Rest of the Story

Once I told someone of how few people read this page. They told me it might still be worth it, just for the few who read it. Call it quality over quantity, call it as much fame as I can handle. I still get comments from people who have visited here, even in the past year. And I've been featured more than once, even in this past year, at New Advent. In fact, I even rate my own picture. I'd settle for that level of notoriety, the rare find among the well-read, a small cult following.

If you want to call it that.

UPDATE: Also in the works are the completion of a backlog of essays that never quite made it to the final draft. They will appear at the date of scheduled publication, in a futile attempt to save face in the long run, and viewers will be provided with an update of links to them.

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* Readers were challenged on Facebook earlier this year to present evidence that Pope Francis had formally committed heresy. Except for a comment about the Jewish people which was at best inconclusive, no one succeeded.
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Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Augustine Edition)

Today the Church remembers the "restless heart" named Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis, aka Augustine, a Roman citizen of north Africa, or what is now modern-day Algeria, who eventually was made Bishop of Hippo (the present-day city of Annaba) in the late fourth and early fifth century.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Are we in the midst of the great Chastisement? My dad used to say, “Yes, and it’s called the ‘New Mass.’” Pat Archbold would probably agree, but offers a different explanation nonetheless. [Creative Minority Report]

• Speaking of the "New Mass," Jeff Ostrowski attempts to shatter a few myths about the official liturgical reform, for the benefit of those devoted to liturgical studies (which is to say, not most of you). [Views from the Choir Loft]

• In light of recent events, it has been made clear that the American bishops remain committed to dialogue with people in faraway lands who want to cut off our heads. Does anyone else see this ending well? [National Catholic Reporter]

• A devoted Catholic husband and father says that a Holy Hour can be a "date." Not exactly a trip to the malt shop ... [Seton Magazine]

• At some point, it is not enough to apply a bandage to a boil. The only remedy is to lance it. If anyone needed to make a case that the Legionnaires of Christ must be completely dissolved with nary a trace remaining, and its priests compelled to re-evaluate their ministry, they will find it here (as if the malevolence of its founder were not enough). [Pia de Solenni]

• UPDATE: A message to the responsible parties in the aforementioned account: SORRY DON'T FEED THE BULLDOG! [National Catholic Reporter]

• Finally, and on the other hand, a different and more moderate perspective is offered by canonist and Very Close Personal Friend Pete Vere, as well as how to tell when the same mistake might happen again. [Catholic Light]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (St Jeanne-Françoise de Chantal Edition)

The Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments released guidelines on the Rite of the Sign of Peace during Mass.

In other words, nothing's going to change because most Catholics are used to the usual back-slapping smackdown right before communion shown twice in this video, and other assorted nonsense listed between 0:55 and 1:06, as opposed to a more dignified approach consistent with its authentic tradition, as seen at the altar between 0:43 and 0:48.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• People are surprised to discover that Pope Francis is no longer playing Mister Nice Guy. In one case, he has found a way to piss off the Turks. It's safe to say he won't be visiting there soon. [Armenpress]

• Speaking of not going anywhere, in an attempt to never have an unpublished or unrecorded thought, Pope Francis says he expects to be on the job for only two or three more years before "I'll be off to the Father's House," a possible reference to the proposed retirement home for Popes at Castel Gandolfo. [Agence France-Presse]

• It was not enough to take away the "Mass Of All Time" from Fisher-More College, and forbid them from inviting priests of dubious canonical status. Most recently, the Most Reverend Michael Olson [A Blog for Dallas Area Catholics]

• And speaking of the Mass, we were told fifty years ago that the early Church was a total Kumbayah experience, gathering around the table watching some random holy guy split a loaf of bread in half with his bare hands. There may have been a bit more to it than that. [ADW.org]

• In recent years (as if it's never been thought of before), the Church is trying to reach out to the young people of today, using the latest of technology, and dumbing down the message to 140 characters or less. When you put it that way, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? Well, it gets worse. [projectYM]

• Finally, and speaking of technology, Pope Francis told a crowd of 50,000 altar servers from Germany to put down their cell phones and learn to actually communicate. They all lined up afterwords to get “selfies” with him. [Aleteia]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Assumption’s Eve Edition)

This seemed like as good a time as any to show this video, dedicated to one who is deserving of further discussion. All in good time. Now then ...

If someone had told me at this time last year, or before this time last week, that Father John Zuhlsdorf would be interviewed by the Jesuit periodical America, I never would have believed it. But sure enough, it happened in their issue published at this time last week, and I STILL can't believe it. See for yourself!

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Paul Goings begs to disagree with the good Father that blogging is a form of ministry. "That there are prominent clergymen who actually believe this is part of the reason for the godawful mess we're in." He fails to explain how. [Facebook/Anglo-Catholic Central]

• In a story of yet another "form of ministry," Father Dwight Longnecker begins the first in a series of three articles, related to the passing of Tony Palmer, a protestant bishop and close personal friend of Pope Francis. In light of the Pope's stated desire that he have a Catholic funeral and be treated as though he was a real bishop -- after all, you'll believe anything, right? -- the good Father begins by asking the obvious. [Standing On My Head]

• Continuing with the matter of Tony Palmer and other "separated brethren," Father Longnecker elaborates on the concept of salvation as is found only in the Catholic Church. [Standing On My Head]

• And now, the climax to the whole Tony Palmer thing, as Father Longnecker explains the canonical aspects of suitability of a non-Catholic for a Catholic funeral, something that comes up in conversation at rectories around the world every day. Uh huh. [Standing On My Head]

• Oh, and one more thing. Father Longnecker announces that he is closing his comments box because all the nuts are coming out of the woodwork. After all, it's not as if he was encouraging them. [Standing On My Head]

• Kathryn discusses the spirituality of the recording artist who once sang about how "Catholic girls start much too late." [Through A Glass Brightly]

• In a (kinda sorta) related story, Hilary White discusses the trend of young men giving up on marriage because "women aren't women anymore." Well, isn't it obvious, hon? It's because the men aren't good enough anymore! [LifeSite News]

• On a lighter note, Pat Archbold explains what a parish could do in very short order to restore the sacred to its liturgical life, if you don't count the need for weekly explanations of the obvious in every parish bulletin for a year. [NCRegister]

• And now, back to the hard stuff, as the envoy for the Vatican at the United Nations says that military action may be justified to save Christians in Iraq. After all, it couldn't possibly get out of hand. Stay tuned on this one. [CatholicCulture.org]

• In a further attempt to address the aforementioned, Jonah Goldberg explains why the Swiss Guards should include ninjas. (Of course, why didn't we think of that?) [National Review]

Finally, a new website hoping to get down with the totally hep-cat Millennials crowd. That's where we got this totally rad video that hippity-hops the Gospel story in four minutes. The tagline? “Make holy all the things!” We'll see.

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass tomorrow because it's a Holyday of Obligation, and then again next Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Cajetan Edition)

It's been reported that Pope Francis invited a Catholic delegation from North Korea to attend his Mass in South Korea and ... wait a minute, you mean there are Catholics in North Korea???

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• The American bishops are claiming the moral high ground on the matter of receiving infinite numbers of undocumented aliens crossing the southern border illegally. The problem is whether this squares with the quintessential Catholic social teaching which they are NOT claiming. [Catholic Journal]

• In another story of a lack of restraint, the Vatican has made clear its desire for a more restrained use of the "Sign of Peace" in the celebration of the "ordinary form" of the Roman Mass. Obviously "according to local custom" just isn't cutting the mustard. [CNA News]

• The term "Cafeteria Catholic" used to apply to progressive dissenters in the Church. According to Father Dwight Longnecker, it now applies to conservative dissenters. Since when did "conserving" something become a problem? [Standing On My Head]

• Finally, read it and weep, but for Zion's sake, do not be silent: “The people of Nineveh will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the proclamation of Jonah, and, see, something greater than Jonah is here!” — Matthew 12:41 [NCRegister]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (St Ignatius of Loyola Edition)

Sometimes, someone just has to say something out loud to whomever they are convinced is completely clueless. Now, this writer won't say that the object of this rant fits that description, at least not yet. In fact, many Catholics have a naive overestimation of how much power a Pope really has. Not just since Vatican II, mind you, but historically, at least since they no longer had an entire army to go out and kick some other country's @$$. But hey, she's a judge, which means she probably thinks that's gonna matter. Remember, every judge was once a lawyer, and you know how lawyers are. So, this week, we feature yet another smarty-pants whose name we'll all forget by … well, by now.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• An archbishop in Iraq (probably the last one left for all we know) tells us the biggest factor in the present conflict, and it's not the "Mohammedans." [Spero News]

• Patrick Archbold comments on the cottage industry that has arisen around natural family planning. It is not clear from the account he cites, why so many people worry about how often any woman on any given day is checking their … well, you know. [NCRegister]

• THIS JUST IN: There are reports that Pope Francis is the first pope in the two-thousand-year history of the Church to walk across St Peter's Square to visit the dentist, probably because he's so f@#$ing humble. Film at eleven. [Kath.net]

• Before leaving for the dentist, the Pope suspended ordinations of a diocese in Paraguay because His Holiness is the sworn enemy of Catholic tradition, and not because the local bishop is harboring a credibly accused pedophile priest as his vicar general who escaped from the United States until the heat died down. Are we clear on that? [The Eponymous Flower]

• Bishop Dennis Sullivan of Camden has decided that permeant deacons can wear the clerical collar in public, so that people might think their ordained, and they are ordained, but it has to be with a gray shirt, so that permanent deacons don't get confused with first-year seminarians who also wear the collar, but who are not ordained. The preceding just made sense to some people. [The Deacon's Bench]

• The American bishops' conference is receiving government funding to send bibles to undocumented immigrant children currently being cared for by said government. At least it's not the Qur'an. [The Christian Post]

• Finally, we are sad to note the passing of one of our dear sisters in the Catholic blogosphere. Sarah Harkins, also known as "The Clay Rosary Girl," passed away on Monday, along with her unborn child, Cecilia, after suffering a brain aneurysm. “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.” [The Clay Rosary Girl]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
   

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Vigil of Saint James the Greater Edition)

In the coming week, we commemorate the centennial of the outbreak of the First World War, referred to in its day as “The World War” or even “The Great War.” It was supposed to be "the war to end all wars," but instead it was the war that changed the world forever, and heralded the shape of the century to follow. In this excellent nineteen-minute documentary by the Catholic News Service, experts discuss the legacy of the conflict that changed faith and society in the West, including the role played by the Church.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• New Catholic offers a brilliant commentary for the video above, including an oft-overlooked legacy of the aftermath of the conflict. [Rorate Caeli]

• Ben Conroy is a guest columnist on Patheos Catholic Channel, who discusses the relationship between Catholicism and those with same-sex attraction who seek a virtuous life. [The Anchoress]

• For the first time in forty years, the Diocese of Rochester finally gets the remedial catechism lesson it so richly deserves, starting with the obvious. [The Deacon's Bench]

• Ever meet anyone who is "spiritual but not religious"? You just want to knock some sense into their heads, or ask them what the hell that could possibly mean. Or you could share what Jon Sorensen has to tell them. [Catholic Answers]

• Scientists have discovered that atheists might not exist. No, seriously, a few of them are really, uh, serious. [Science 2.0]

• Finally, Sherry Antonetti wants to know “what does it mean to be a Catholic blogger?” She lives not far from yours truly. All she had to do was ask. [Chocolate For Your Brain]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Alexius Edition)

This is one of the Pope's closest collaborators. For years he worked with the Vatican's Secretariat of State. In 2006, he was named a master of pontifical ceremonies. Things changed for this Argentinian when the Pope (who is from Argentina, duh!) was elected. So now we get to follow him for just another day at the office.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• House majority leader and former Speaker Nancy “Ardent Catholic” Pelosi considers the American bishops to be really swell when they agree with her. Naturally, this isn't very often. [The Daily Caller]

• In other turns of events, the administration of the precariously-postured Fisher More College may no longer be able to play the “Bishop Olson Hates The Latin Mass” card, after he attended "in choro" at a Solemn High Mass, and gave the homily. [A Blog for Dallas Area Catholics]

• Meanwhile, get ready for the new generation of Cardinal, as the new Archbishop of Vienna is known to be "less dogmatic" and "theologically conservative" at the same time. Now, if we could just figure out the point of this explanation. [Reuters]

• Katrina Fernandez has the perfect solution in the face of confusing statements by Pope Francis. [The Crescat]

• Bill Donohue may come off on the 24/7 news channels as … well, a bit high strung, but sometimes he calms down enough to where he makes really good sense, in this issue ripped from the headlines. [Catholic League]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
             

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Seven Holy Brothers Edition)

The Bishop of Mosul in Iraq has announced that his diocese no longer exists, as for the first time in twelve hundred years, the Holy Mass was not celebrated there, with Muslim forces overrunning the country, and the massive persecution of Christians. But hey, we've got bigger things to worry about, like which pope's native country is going to win the World Cup. #priorities

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Today the Western church remembers the seven sons of Saint Felicitas, who watched them receive the crown of martyrdom before her very eyes circa 150 or 165. One of the brothers, San Marziale (Saint Martialis/Saint Marshall) is remembered with a festival typically held on July 10th or near that date in Philadelphia. [SQPN]

• “All are welcome, all are welcome, all are welcome in this place. Let us build a house where love is found in water, wine, and wheat …” Hey, could we sing something even more trite, and who let Michael Voris in here? [Standing On My Head]

• Speaking of which, will somebody tell a certain Catholic in Brooklyn that, if your parish is going to name something with the word “Pride” in it, as a pretext to speaking the truth about Church teaching (as opposed to ignoring it so everybody thinks you're swell), something is bound to get lost in the translation? [Catholic in Brooklyn]

• Some priest in the UK who (apparently) only goes by the name of “Ches” wonders with Father Ray Blake where all the Catholic bloggers have gone. Maybe getting into stupid arguments on Facebook. [The Sensible Bond]

• Finally, has anyone thought about who HE might want to win the World Cup? Just sayin'... [sportsgrid]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

My “Almost An Emcee For The Pope” Moment

[NOTICE: The following essay contains a plethora of minutiae associated with the details of official Catholic worship, which the reader might find to be too arcane for their taste, unless one is into that sort of thing. You have been warned.]

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As (both of) my regular viewers know, I am the Senior Master of Ceremonies for the Traditional Latin Mass, at the parish of Saint John the Beloved in McLean, Virginia. While a most rewarding experience in itself these past nearly-seven years, it occasionally leads to other opportunities. They do not always involve the traditional form of the Roman Mass, and I do not always mind that.

His Eminence Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is the Archbishop of Manila, and de facto Primate of the Philippine Islands, a position he has held since December of 2011. He was given the "red hat" (that is, elevated to the Sacred College of Cardinals) nearly a year later, making him the second youngest of the honorary clergy of Rome at the time, having then just turned fifty-five. He enjoys a reputation for a commitment to social justice, and solidarity with the poor in the Philippines, while opposing the Culture of Death, in particular the recently passed Reproductive Health Bill. Popularly known as the "Pope Francis of Asia," Cardinal Tagle was considered by many Vaticanologists to be "papabile" (Italian for "likely to be pope") during the most recent conclave in 2013.

PHOTO: Sal does her part to make Cardinal Tagle feel right at home for his birthday celebration the evening before the Mass. Photographer unknown.

Late last month, on the 28th of June, His Eminence was principal celebrant for the Annual Filipino Pilgrimage to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. The following day, on the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul, he celebrated a Pontifical Mass at St Columba's Church in Oxen Hill, Maryland, a parish whose members are predominantly of Filipino origin, and is the only one in the area with a regular Sunday Mass in the Tagalog language. I had offered my services to their pastor, Father Gary Villanueva, upon learning of the event two months earlier. In the middle of the week prior to the event, I was told that I would be co-emcee with one Jeff Bedia, a lay brother with the Oratory-in-Formation in Washington DC. We met on Saturday morning before the event, and went over the details.

Caeremoniale

Many devout Catholics who have a fondness for the Traditional Mass, would be surprised to learn that there is much in the way of codified or otherwise established ceremonial detail in the celebration of the reformed liturgy -- the "Novus Ordo Missae," that which was promulgated in 1969 by Pope Paul VI. The main instructional text for a Pontifical Mass in the "ordinary form" is the Caeremoniale Episcoporum (Ceremonial of Bishops), the English-language of which was most recently published in 1989 by Liturgical Press. It is also helpful to have on hand, the post-conciliar equivalent of Adrian Fortescue's classic work, namely Msgr Peter Elliot's Ceremonies of the Modern Roman Rite, 2nd Edition. In the final days before the main event, I read the relevant sections of both works several times over.

PHOTO: The author assists His Eminence with donning the vestments for offering sacrifice.

While not quite as elaborate or detailed as its Traditional equivalent, there is nevertheless much tradition behind the details of ceremony, the main challenge being that liturgical formation for priests and deacons has only become truly comprehensive (and more consistent with official norms, with an emphasis on the sacred) in the last twenty years or so, simply due to the still-ongoing nature of the post-conciliar liturgical reform. There are also the limitations that come from being a regular parish, as opposed to a cathedral, basilica, or monastery. As a result, a few details are often laid aside as a matter of expediency.

For example, the ideal is to have four deacons in a Pontifical Mass; a Deacon of the Word who reads the Gospel and the General Intercessions, and a Deacon of the Eucharist who assists the Celebrant at the altar. In addition, there can be two Assistant Deacons, who attend to the Bishop-Celebrant at the Chair. The First Assistant (to his right) assists with imposing of incense in the thurible, while the Second Assistant (to his left) assists with the miter and (where applicable) the crosier, or pastoral staff. In our case, there were only two deacons to perform their separate functions for the Mass itself, as would be the norm for a parish setting. This left the two Masters of Ceremonies to attend to His Eminence at the Chair, which is also acceptable.

And of course, you could forget about the celebrant processing in before Mass wearing the cappa magna.

The First MC has the primary responsibility of overseeing the choreography of the Mass, anticipating what is to happen next, and ensuring that the proper functionaries are ready to attend. At larger celebrations, a Second MC (yours truly, in this case) has the task of concentrating on those who wait on the Celebrant, whether bringing the thurible to the Chair for imposing incense, or the Acolytes bringing the water and wine to the altar. This allows the First MC to more easily attend to the Principal Celebrant, and the Concelebrants as need be. Upon looking into his bonafides, I learned that Jeff had more experience with pontifical events than I, and is well acquainted with His Eminence, so I was all too happy to take Second position.

Whichever form of the Roman Mass is celebrated, there can always be differences between what it says in "the book" and what happens in real life. It just happens to be more the case with the post-conciliar form, and here is where the experience of a Master of Ceremonies comes into play, one who understands the general principles of the celebration of Mass.

Ecce Sacerdos Magnus!

PHOTO: From the Heritage Mass by Owen Alstott: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of goodwill ...”

By the time His Eminence arrived in the sacristy, we had already briefed the young men who would serve; a Thurifer, a Crucifer, and two Acolytes bearing candles in procession. In addition, there would ordinarily be a mitre-bearer and a crosier-bearer. Walking behind the bishop in procession, each wears what resembles a white humeral veil around his shoulders, bearing the coat of arms of the prelate at its center, and which is known as a "vimpa." These servers will hold the accoutrement of the episcopal office when not being carried or worn.

For whatever reason, His Eminence chose not to wear his pallium, a yoke worn by a metropolitan archbishop over his vestments. And although as a cardinal, he enjoyed the universal privilege of carrying the crosier (pastoral staff) outside of his immediate jurisdiction, he eschewed that as well. So we only used one server as the mitre-bearer (or "vimp," some generic term I had never heard before) for the occasion. We found a white humeral veil to use as a vimpa, with the image of Christ the King embroidered upon it. Personally, I found this fitting, as it was mindful of a traditional processional hymn for a bishop, "Behold The Great High Priest."

The church was packed to the point of standing-room-only, with dozens of phone cameras, and even iPads (which can be rather conspicuous being raised above a crowd), to capture a grand moment for the local Filipino community. There were three priest-concelebrants and two deacons to attend to the liturgy, all processing in following a cloud of incense. As the Second Master of Ceremonies, I took up the rear. The choir led hymns in English, Latin, and Tagalog, including a polyphonic arrangement of Ubi Caritas that was reminiscent of Duruflé. (Note to self: Find out the composer of that motet.)

What’s In A Name?

The homily for the Mass was quite entertaining, and was about the call of Simone bar-Jona by Our Lord to discipleship. Would not a rough and unlettered fisherman be a rather poor choice with which to start a movement? It would seem unlikely for Simon, who then became Peter and at one point was called Satan, all this in a very short period of time, if not for drawing attention to how Christ did not come for the holy, but for the sinner. His Eminence said that if he were God, he would not appoint Peter as representative of the Church, but more likely Paul, the intelligent scholarly one who lived a life of humility. He said that if he were God, he will not place Luis Antonio Tagle in his position, nor the deacons or priests who were in attendance. He would more likely choose "a Chinese businessman who sells insurance," a quip that earned him his biggest ovation. (It's a Filipino thing.) And yet, their presence and their appointments were through God’s grace, every bit as much as Peter was "the Rock" upon which the Church was built.

Although he enjoys considerable religious and political influence as occupant of his nation's primatial see, he is also a mild-mannered, unassuming and personable man, who enjoys his connection to the faithful. This was most evident immediately after Mass, as everyone with a camera phone wanted his picture, and all at the same time. The vestibule was quite a madhouse for more than half an hour, before we finally had to repair to the sacristy, to put things away and join the reception.

Fiesta!

It seems that I was "important" enough to sit at the head table with His Eminence and the rest of the clergy in attendance. The Filipino cuisine was very well prepared, and the good sisters brought their board of fare directly to those at the head table, instead of having them wait in line (which doesn't happen to yours truly every day). There was also a performance of traditional Filipino folk dancing by a troupe of four young ladies. Their first selection was a "Muslim dance" that was native to the southern region of Mindanao. The second was more common to the northern region of Luzon, a Spanish-inspired dance, featuring colorful "Maria Clara" gowns, and the holding of fans as if to communicate the language of courtship -- "fan language," as it is known.

Black Hat Meets Red Hat

As he was leaving, I had one chance to say something to him, up close and personal; either that or make a total fool of myself, or both. And so I did, while referring to his homily ...

"Your Eminence, if by some chance they ever decide to name you Peter -- well, call it being in the wrong place at the wrong time, if you will -- I will have a story to tell my grandchildren. Until then, I can only tell anyone who asks, that this is the closest I will ever come to emceeing for the Pope."

He was sufficiently amused, if embarrassed by the prospect of yet another "promotion," and mentioned his impending meeting with the Holy Father, no doubt to discuss the latter's upcoming visit to Asia next year.

And so it goes, a memorable day in the life of an aging altar boy.

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(Our thanks go out to Father Gary Villanueva, with the other clergy, the staff, and volunteers of St Columba's Parish in Oxen Hill, Maryland, as well as Jun Mararac of Waldorf, Maryland, who made notes of the homily. Unless otherwise noted, photos are courtesy of Roland Escalante Jr, and are used here without permission or shame.)
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saints John and Paul Edition)

This is a chart showing the number of Jesuits worldwide. The über-trad upstarts at Rorate Caeli contend that the falling numbers are more evidence of all that is wrong with the Church since Vatican II. The assumption, of course, is that the key to solving the problem is to have more Jesuits.

While they're discerning the flaw in this line of reasoning, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Marc Barnes thinks that "popes should resign more often," employing arguments that fail to take into account why so few have ever resigned up to now. [Bad Catholic]

• “New Catholic” continues his anonymous crusade for the Truth, in the matter of the Holy Father's kinda-sorta excommunication of the Mafia. It seems that no particular names are mentioned. Neither is his. Or is it hers? [Rorate Caeli]

• Caleb Alexander (no relation, probably) discusses how troublemakers in discussions on the internet are so often encouraged by the attention they get. [Barefoot and Pregnant]

• This looked like a joke upon first glance, but no, it's serious. [Corpus Christi Watershed]

• Finally, Pope Francis tells theologians that the “sensus fidelium” does not mean a majority opinion. After all, “who are they to judge?” [Catholic Herald]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Now We Are Twelve

This little corner of the Catholic blogosphere is twelve years old today, but why the hell should you care?

If you are reading this right now, there is a one in ten chance that you are genuinely interested in occasional enlightened commentary on issues of faith and culture, by someone who does not merely regurgitate what they read somewhere else. By extension, this assumes you have an attention span longer than the 140-character limit for creating messages on Twitter. This is not always the case, however, and we have the data to prove it.

The rest of you would probably rather read about the ongoing pissing contest between the so-called “NEO-CATHOLICS” with Mark Shea leading the troops, and the so-called “NEO-TRADS” (although I cannot imagine what is so "NEO-" about any of them, as opposed to "PALEO-") with Michael Voris holding the banner high (except for the brief interludes when The Remnant decides he is selling out, then all bets are off), voicing outrage at the lack of charity, if not the lack of clarity, just so someone can make some smart-@$$ comment on Facebook, and get everybody all stirred up again, and continue being indignant for the foreseeable future.

Here, on the other hand, this writer has managed to stay above the fray, and will continue to do so, as various aspects of this controversy are explored in the future.

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Maybe you want to read a dramatic conversion story. It seems that everybody has one these days, which makes you wonder how anybody became a Catholic before the internet. Surely the angels and saints in Heaven rejoice at the news of a lost sheep having been found, and that will not be disputed here. But one has to wonder whether it matters how famous the converted are because of it. Speaking of which, how about my conversion story?

Born on December 28, 1954, at about 7 in the morning, in Cleveland, Ohio. Baptized three weeks later at Christ the King Church in East Cleveland. Family moved to the Cincinnati area in the spring of 1956. Received first Holy Communion in October of 1962, in the midst of the Cuban missile crisis, when we were asked to offer it up for world peace, and when everything was in Latin. Received the Sacrament of Confirmation, taking the name "Mark," in the spring of 1965, the first year that any part of the Roman Mass was in English (which is to say, very little).

End of story.

While there is some value to the witnessing of those still among us in "this valley of tears," if the lives of the saints are not enough to assist us in the pursuit of virtue, then all the wannabe celebrities in the world of Catholic new media, who at the end of the day are simply making money talking about themselves, will hardly turn the trick. The fact is, none of us really knows when we will be called home, and there is no guarantee that anyone outside the bosom of Mother Church will be assured of eternal salvation, even if they would have had their own totally-Catholic reality television show in an alternate timeline, if only God had given them a few more years to wise up. And although every worker in the Lord's vineyard receives the same promised wage at the end of the day, regardless of their hours of labor, what is described above may be the singular consolation of being a "cradle Catholic" without a tale to tell for fun and profit.

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The past twelve months have been devoted to reflection here at man with black hat. The promotion on Twitter has been less aggressive, and readership is down by just under half of what it was at this time two years ago. About once every month (well, most months anyway), something is published that gets a great deal of attention. But most of the time, we could post photographs of kittens and draw just as big a crowd. And then we have that pesky day job that takes up at least forty hours a week; forty-eight if you count commuting time. All that just because I have to earn a living. Oh, the humanity ...

What of the future?

In the next one to two years, this venue could evolve into something very different from what it is at present. All of the regular weekly features are currently under review, and some of them may simply be retired, no matter how much yours truly is personally amused by them. Except for certain holiday devotions (the 12 days of Christmas, the mother of all Novenas, etc), one possibility is to simply go to nothing more for most of the year than one or two significant articles in a week, plus a weekly posting of a video of artistic or cultural import, with illuminating commentary. There is also the prospect in 2014 or 2015 of a weekly videocast. It would cover many of the same subjects usually covered here, and the regular installments would be no more than three minutes in length.

We shall see what tomorrow brings. Stay tuned, and stay in touch.