"I read the news today, oh boy..."

• In Starke, Florida, former minister Paul Hill was executed for the 1994 murder of an abortion doctor, the first in the USA to be put to death for "anti-abortion" violence. He was unrepentent to the end, his last words urging others to use necessary force to protect the unborn. Blaming the pro-life movement for such fringe activities, is like blaming Gandhi or Martin Luther King for the race riots in the late 1960s.

• In Iraq, the role of keeping the peace is being transferred from USA forces to those of eight other countries, among them Great Britain, Poland, and Spain. Now they can blame somebody else for not being able to get the Iraqi people to stop picking on each other and grow the @#$% up!

• To celebrate the 75th anniversary of the discovery of penicillin, the British Royal Society of Chemistry is having a contest, whereby entrants send in pictures of mold growing in a coffee mug. (Did I mention I'm allergic to penicillin?)

• Festivities in the Nation's capital to open the professional football season begin today, with a big-@$$ shindig on the Mall, featuring Aerosmith and Britney Spears. Roads will be blocked, some Federal employees will go home early (but not yours truly), and the subway will run later than usual. As for me, I'll celebrate in the usual fashion. Yeah, you right!