"I read the news today, oh boy..."

• The House of Representatives voted themselves a pay raise for next year. Unlike the Senate, these guys held off for a few years. And the increase was only 2.2 percent (That's $3200. Pin money, right?). And, ignoring the White House (which is easier for them than it is for me), they voted most federal workers a 4.1 percent raise in 2004. For the first time in years, it keeps up with inflation.

• In Raleigh County, West Virginia (south of the state capital, where the real West "By God" Virginians live), a man is giving steroids to his roosters. That's because they're used as gamecocks, which is a higher form of culture in that part of the state. The county commissioner is less than impressed, however, especially since the neighbors are complaining that the roosters are clucking all day. Currently, the county ordinance dealing with pet noises deals primarily with barking dogs.

• Pete Vere, you've been warned! A smaller brewery in Plankstadt, Germany, near Heidelberg, are expanding their product line beyond the limits of the country's beer purity laws (which limit ingredients to malt, hops, yeast, and water), to include lemonade, cola, complete with the option of custom-designed labels. (Note to St Pauli girl: Better tighten up your corset and run!)

• There will be memorial services on September 11, to commemorate the terrorist attacks of two years ago. President Bush will attend in DC, Vice President Cheney in Manhattan, and Interior Secretary Norton in Shanksville, PA.