"I read the news today, oh boy..."

• Why didn't I think of this... eh? A woman in British Columbia is suing Coca-Cola, after the cap of a two-liter bottle of Coke hit her in the eye upon opening. She claims the company failed to warn consumers of the dangers of handling soda bottles. Does this include shaking them first?

• "Don't like my driving? Dial one-eight-hundred-kiss-my-..." In Escambia County, Florida, convicted drunk drivers have to put a red and yellow bumper sticker on their car, inviting people to call in and report erratic driving.

• "It's a bird! It's a plane!! It's... Action Aaah-nold!!!" The actor and Republican candidate for Governor of California is depicted with a new toy by Herobuilders.com. "The Governator" is available in talking or non-talking versions.

• Stay inside the lines for this one, kids! Crayola is retiring four of its 120 colors later this year, replacing them with four others in time for their centennial celebration in October. There were also five colors they considered "redundant or unattractive": Burnt Sienna, Teal Blue, Blizzard Blue, Mulberry, and Magic Mint. Crayon fans got to vote to spare one of them, which will be announced on October 12. (If these kids ever go into art school, they'd better spare burnt sienna, which is a staple of oil color palates. Ever try substituting by mixing cadmium red light with raw sienna? Uh-huh, I trust I've made my point.)

• Female students at Bangkok University in Thailand who wear their school uniforms modestly, will be eligible for prizes of diamonds and gold jewelry, as a reward for being "well-dressed," at the end of the academic term. After all, no one ever sang "bare legs are a girl's best friend."

• One of my favorite singer-songwriters, John Gorka, was in Baltimore last week during Hurricane Isabel. At the height of the storm, his acoustic concert went totally unplugged: "Since the power was out, lighting was provided by candles and flashlights and the sound was provided by me. There were no injuries." If only I'd known ahead of time, I would have braved the elements to be there. His new CD on the Red House label, Old Futures Gone, was released yesterday.