“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Post-Blackout Edition)

As this is written, there is power, but no cable or internet at Chez Alexandre, so we're at, um, our usual weekday location to bring you the usual Monday feature. At the same time, there remains a state of emergency in four states and the District of Columbia. So then, if you're sitting on a bench at the mall reading this on your laptop or smartphone, you could probably use a pep talk by Bill Whittle right about now.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on Planet Earth:

• You say you're on a career track that's hit a standstill? Not getting enough adulation lately? Tell the media you're ... well, you know ... (The Dish)

• In a town in the southern Philippines (Bunawan, Agusan del Sur, Mindanao), they claim possession of the largest crocodile in captivity. They even gave it an adorable name -- Lolong. (AP)

• Speaking of animals gone wild, a kangaroo was spotted hopping down the highway near Pasco, Washington. In a state where private ownership of exotic animals is legal, the owner also has a zebra. Maybe he'll trade both for Bigfoot. (KNDO-TV)

• Finally, you must be dying to know why it takes so long to fix a power outage! The truth can now be revealed. (Gizmodo)

Under the present (less than ideal) circumstances, that's all the news that fits. Thanks to all who kept our readership stats at double the usual level over the past three days. You guys are awesome. As the week goes on, whether or not they turn on the lights, stay tuned, and stay in touch.