“I read the news today, oh boy...”

This is the "Post-Election Edition" of our once-regular newsreel. Before we get into the post-game wrap-up, mwbh is going to take a run through some of the more surreal moments of this year's election day. Click on the bullet of each item to see more.

• The town of Dixville Notch, New Hampshire, has long held a tradition of being the first town in the USA to complete its balloting for the Presidential elections. This isn't too difficult, since they a) are in the Eastern time zone, b) they have a population of about 75, with 20 registered voters, c) they start at midnight and end one minute later, and d) New Hampshire state law permits all of the above. This year they picked Obama in a landslide. Why do the rest of us bother?

• A professor at St Olaf's College in Minnesota, who bragged on the internet about stealing McCain/Palin campaign signs, is no longer a professor at St Olaf's College. The county sherrif's office says he could also be charged with misdemeanor theft, with a jail sentence of up to 90 days and a fine of up to one thousand dollars. His excuse? It was “one of the single most exhilarating and empowering political acts that I have ever done.” Obviously he needs to get out of the house more.

• Obama has been quoted as proposing a "national civilian security force." In what may be its debut mobilization exercise, two men wearing jackets with the symbol of the National Black Panther Party were seen providing "security" outside a polling center in Philadelphia. One of them was carrying a nightstick. The police were called, who then asked them to move along. No one started a riot, but Obama managed to take Pennsylvania, despite an eleventh-hour pledge to "bankrupt" the coal industry out of environmental concerns. It makes you wonder.

• The mainstream media dropped a cool $4.4 million to travel with McCain. Not to be outdone by themselves, they ran up a tab of $9.6 million to hang with Obama. Among the high-rollers in print journalism (if we can still call them "journalists" after a year like this one): The New York Times, $422,000; The Washington Post, $325,000; The Los Angeles Times, $184,000; The Wall Street Journal, $205,000).

• Finally, a Fox News affiliate reports on a woman with an unusual policy for Trick-or-Treaters on Holloween night. She refused to give candy to children whose parents supported Obama, or who supported Obama themselves. It doesn't get much weirder than this.

[THIS JUST IN...]

• Well, it got weirder alright. Shep Smith of Fox News Channel gives former consumer advocate and perennial third-party candidate Ralph Nader what is probably the final interview of his sagging political career. Last night, Ralphie Boy was quoted as saying: "To put it simply, he is our first African American president; or he will be. And we wish him well. But his choice, basically, is whether he's going to be Uncle Sam for the people of this country, or Uncle Tom for the giant corporations." Oh, yeah, he really said that.

Film at eleven. Stay tuned...
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