TGIF: Girl Dancing With Hula Hoops

Thank G-d it's Friday, and here it is, your moment of whimsy ...

With the Labor Day weekend coming, those of us in the States mark the official unofficial end of the summer. Coral Jade is a street performer who can take on thirty hula hoops at the same time. Some people have the moves for this, and some (like yours truly) don't. Whatever moves you decide to make, enjoy your weekend.

And stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Augustine Edition)

Today the Church remembers the "restless heart" named Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis, aka Augustine, a Roman citizen of north Africa, or what is now modern-day Algeria, who eventually was made Bishop of Hippo (the present-day city of Annaba) in the late fourth and early fifth century.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Are we in the midst of the great Chastisement? My dad used to say, “Yes, and it’s called the ‘New Mass.’” Pat Archbold would probably agree, but offers a different explanation nonetheless. [Creative Minority Report]

• Speaking of the "New Mass," Jeff Ostrowski attempts to shatter a few myths about the official liturgical reform, for the benefit of those devoted to liturgical studies (which is to say, not most of you). [Views from the Choir Loft]

• In light of recent events, it has been made clear that the American bishops remain committed to dialogue with people in faraway lands who want to cut off our heads. Does anyone else see this ending well? [National Catholic Reporter]

• A devoted Catholic husband and father says that a Holy Hour can be a "date." Not exactly a trip to the malt shop ... [Seton Magazine]

• At some point, it is not enough to apply a bandage to a boil. The only remedy is to lance it. If anyone needed to make a case that the Legionnaires of Christ must be completely dissolved with nary a trace remaining, and its priests compelled to re-evaluate their ministry, they will find it here (as if the malevolence of its founder were not enough). [Pia de Solenni]

• UPDATE: A message to the responsible parties in the aforementioned account: SORRY DON'T FEED THE BULLDOG! [National Catholic Reporter]

• Finally, and on the other hand, a different and more moderate perspective is offered by canonist and Very Close Personal Friend Pete Vere, as well as how to tell when the same mistake might happen again. [Catholic Light]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Art-For-Art’s-Sake Theatre: Miranda Lambert “Only Prettier”

Time once again for our usual midweek feature.

Miranda Lambert made her Nashville recording debut in 2005, and when she's not performing with the Pistol Annies, she is making statements on the shifting of Southern culture since the 1960s. The narrator has “a mouth like a sailor and yours is more like a Hallmark card," but at the end of the day, if you're from Dixie, hurrah for Dixie, 'cuz she's from Dixie too.

And so it goes.
 

“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Philippine National Heroes Day Edition)

Last Wednesday, New Jersey governor and kinda-sorta-presidential hopeful Chris Christie took on a challenger in a townhall-style meeting, to discuss one of the burning issues of our time. You can agree or disagree with the man on one thing or another, but you can't deny that you know exactly where he stands on an issue, that right or wrong he'll tell you why, and that he could whoop anybody's @$$ in a presidential debate. Now, given that no president is ever able to keep every promise he makes, how bad could that be?

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• Science marches on, as Google's experimental “autonomous car” is programmed to go over the speed limit to make it safer. Obviously it won't hit anybody ... or will it? [Gizmodo]

• Moving our science news forward into the past, it was possible back in the 1950s for a kid to purchase an “Atomic Energy Kit” complete with four different types of uranium ore. Oh, and a geiger counter, just to be safe. [Gajitz]

• And speaking of trends, here's some great news for all you fellas who miss the pop culture and haute couture of the 80s and 90s. “Mom jeans” are making a comeback. [Answers]

• In the first of three (slightly) related stories, is the United States of America the most freedom-loving country in the world? It depends on what you mean by “freedom,” or whether you confuse that term with “license.” [Capitalism Is Freedom]

• Second, in taking a closer look at America, what are the most corrupt among the several States? [Fortune]

• Third, What is the value of, say, one hundred dollars, relative to each state? [The Huffington Post]

• Finally, the renowned actor Patrick Stewart officially ends the Ice Bucket Challenge! We can all stop dumping ice water on our heads, as the star of Star Trek and X-Men wins the challenge. No more nominations, no more wet clothes, just one check for an undisclosed amount of money. (Aside from the support of the ALSA for embryonic stem cell research, it was getting a little annoying anyway.) [N/A]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

As Kingfishers Catch Fire

As kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame;
As tumbled over rim in roundy wells
Stones ring; like each tucked string tells, each hung bell's
Bow swung finds tongue to fling out broad its name;
Each mortal thing does one thing and the same:
Deals out that being indoors each one dwells;
Selves — goes itself; myself it speaks and spells,
Crying What I do is me: for that I came.

I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is —
Christ — for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces.

Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844-1889)
 

TGIF: Hashtag “Ducknado”

Thank G-D it's Friday, and here it is, your moment of whimsy.

One of the more popular themes of short video clips in social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc) is that of a mother duck leading her little ducklings through a high-risk area, whether across a six-lane highway, or going up steps. This one is a variation on that theme, one in which the ducks appear to have taken over. This depiction of a mass migration was shot somewhere in Thailand (or perhaps, Indonesia, it's not certain) about two years ago -- a #ducknado, if you will -- where ducks seem to enjoy a certain degree of latitude in stopping traffic.

And so it goes.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (St Jeanne-Françoise de Chantal Edition)

The Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments released guidelines on the Rite of the Sign of Peace during Mass.

In other words, nothing's going to change because most Catholics are used to the usual back-slapping smackdown right before communion shown twice in this video, and other assorted nonsense listed between 0:55 and 1:06, as opposed to a more dignified approach consistent with its authentic tradition, as seen at the altar between 0:43 and 0:48.

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• People are surprised to discover that Pope Francis is no longer playing Mister Nice Guy. In one case, he has found a way to piss off the Turks. It's safe to say he won't be visiting there soon. [Armenpress]

• Speaking of not going anywhere, in an attempt to never have an unpublished or unrecorded thought, Pope Francis says he expects to be on the job for only two or three more years before "I'll be off to the Father's House," a possible reference to the proposed retirement home for Popes at Castel Gandolfo. [Agence France-Presse]

• It was not enough to take away the "Mass Of All Time" from Fisher-More College, and forbid them from inviting priests of dubious canonical status. Most recently, the Most Reverend Michael Olson [A Blog for Dallas Area Catholics]

• And speaking of the Mass, we were told fifty years ago that the early Church was a total Kumbayah experience, gathering around the table watching some random holy guy split a loaf of bread in half with his bare hands. There may have been a bit more to it than that. [ADW.org]

• In recent years (as if it's never been thought of before), the Church is trying to reach out to the young people of today, using the latest of technology, and dumbing down the message to 140 characters or less. When you put it that way, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does it? Well, it gets worse. [projectYM]

• Finally, and speaking of technology, Pope Francis told a crowd of 50,000 altar servers from Germany to put down their cell phones and learn to actually communicate. They all lined up afterwords to get “selfies” with him. [Aleteia]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Art-For-Art’s-Sake Theatre: 2Cellos “Thunderstruck”

Time once again for our usual midweek feature.

Remember two weeks ago when we showed those Finnish hillbillies going Appalachian on heavy metal? How could you forget a thing like that? Well, they're not the only ones on the headbanger bandwagon. Luka Sulic and Stjepan Hausar, appearing as the duo 2Cellos, go for Baroque their own rendition of the AC/DC hit “Thunderstruck” in front of an authentic period audience.

Too bad they couldn't have played it on authentic period instruments. After all, the violoncello as we know it today did not come into prominence until roughly the mid-18th century. Don't ask me why.
 

“I read the news today, oh boy …” (Battle of Globe Tavern Edition)

You may remember our Friday feature on Noah “The Apparently Kid” Ritter, who made his debut on live television be telling the world he had never been on live television before -- never, ever. The story, and his precociousness, went totally viral. Here the saga (and his fifteen minutes of fame) continues, shortly before the world forgets about him and moves on to something else.

Speaking of which, here's what's going on elsewhere on planet Earth:

• Finally, a diet guaranteed to help you beat jet lag, and it doesn't include a little bag of peanuts. [Lifehacker]

• Where will you be when the lights go out? (Read the comments. Some of them are half-way intelligent, and will make the possibility less likely. Thought you'd like to know. [Hot Air]

• City councilman, former DC mayor, convicted felon, and Eagle Scout (no kidding!) Marion Barry owes hundreds of dollars in parking tickets, but he's certainly going to pay them when he gets around to it, secure in the knowledge that his car will never be towed until then. Meanwhile, he's here thinking: “The b**** set me up!” [WTTG-TV]

• Here it is, the latest entry in the “Dude-Where’s-My-Flying-Car” saga. [Gajitz]

• Is there still a place in the world for libraries? Some people seem to think so, and here are ten possibilities. Maybe you can try one of them, if you ever land an old-style phone booth at a public auction. [Oddee]

• You may think you understand the Star Wars saga, but you are about to be proven wrong. [Tickld]

• Finally, the NFL franchise in Washington is under a lot of pressure to change its name from what is considered a prejorative for Native Americans, although it is not so well known that even Native Americans themselves are divided on the issue. You might also be surprised to learn that the logo itself was designed by a Native American, although that version of the truth is probably not on the table right now. [Hot Air]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

TGIF: Noah Ritter “Songified”

Thank God it's Friday, and here it is, your moment of whimsy.

Noah Ritter of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, stole the show on WNEP-TV News one evening, during an interview with reporter Sofia Ojeda at the Wayne County Fair.

Naturally, this gave The Gregory Brothers an idea. And so Even and Andrew teamed up to cover what would become the kid's smash hit, “Apparently.” This second clip facilitates the process that is called "songifying."

And that's how the job gets done, as only “The Gregsters” can do it. The result is for a kid who had never been on live television, to perform the greatest song ever, about not having ever been on live television. There's your fifteen minutes, kid.

And so it goes.
 

The Assumption of Mary

Fly, my soul, with Mary fly,
Soar beyond the golden sky,
Mount to Mary's throne on high.

Bright the queenly crown she won,
Sweet the reign she has begun,
As she stands beside her Son.
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

How endure this long delay?
Living here how can I stay
From such beauty far away?
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

Sad my lot is here below;
Who can hope or life bestow?
Who will help or pity show?
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

But though far away from me,
Still our sovereign Queen will be
Full of love and clemency.
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

With a mother's loving care
She will lift those hands so fair,
And will save us by her prayer.
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

Mother's heart can ne'er forget
That we are her children yet,
By such dangers fierce beset.
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

Gently, still, she bends her eyes
On the soul that longs and sighs
For her love, the heavenly prize.
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

Blest the soul who, like the dove
Borne upon the wings of love,
Follows her to heaven above.
Fly, my soul, with Mary fly.

St Alphonsus de Liguori (1696-1787). Eugene Grimm, editor. The Glories of Mary. New York: Redemptoris Fathers, 1931.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Assumption’s Eve Edition)

This seemed like as good a time as any to show this video, dedicated to one who is deserving of further discussion. All in good time. Now then ...

If someone had told me at this time last year, or before this time last week, that Father John Zuhlsdorf would be interviewed by the Jesuit periodical America, I never would have believed it. But sure enough, it happened in their issue published at this time last week, and I STILL can't believe it. See for yourself!

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• Paul Goings begs to disagree with the good Father that blogging is a form of ministry. "That there are prominent clergymen who actually believe this is part of the reason for the godawful mess we're in." He fails to explain how. [Facebook/Anglo-Catholic Central]

• In a story of yet another "form of ministry," Father Dwight Longnecker begins the first in a series of three articles, related to the passing of Tony Palmer, a protestant bishop and close personal friend of Pope Francis. In light of the Pope's stated desire that he have a Catholic funeral and be treated as though he was a real bishop -- after all, you'll believe anything, right? -- the good Father begins by asking the obvious. [Standing On My Head]

• Continuing with the matter of Tony Palmer and other "separated brethren," Father Longnecker elaborates on the concept of salvation as is found only in the Catholic Church. [Standing On My Head]

• And now, the climax to the whole Tony Palmer thing, as Father Longnecker explains the canonical aspects of suitability of a non-Catholic for a Catholic funeral, something that comes up in conversation at rectories around the world every day. Uh huh. [Standing On My Head]

• Oh, and one more thing. Father Longnecker announces that he is closing his comments box because all the nuts are coming out of the woodwork. After all, it's not as if he was encouraging them. [Standing On My Head]

• Kathryn discusses the spirituality of the recording artist who once sang about how "Catholic girls start much too late." [Through A Glass Brightly]

• In a (kinda sorta) related story, Hilary White discusses the trend of young men giving up on marriage because "women aren't women anymore." Well, isn't it obvious, hon? It's because the men aren't good enough anymore! [LifeSite News]

• On a lighter note, Pat Archbold explains what a parish could do in very short order to restore the sacred to its liturgical life, if you don't count the need for weekly explanations of the obvious in every parish bulletin for a year. [NCRegister]

• And now, back to the hard stuff, as the envoy for the Vatican at the United Nations says that military action may be justified to save Christians in Iraq. After all, it couldn't possibly get out of hand. Stay tuned on this one. [CatholicCulture.org]

• In a further attempt to address the aforementioned, Jonah Goldberg explains why the Swiss Guards should include ninjas. (Of course, why didn't we think of that?) [National Review]

Finally, a new website hoping to get down with the totally hep-cat Millennials crowd. That's where we got this totally rad video that hippity-hops the Gospel story in four minutes. The tagline? “Make holy all the things!” We'll see.

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass tomorrow because it's a Holyday of Obligation, and then again next Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Art-For-Art’s-Sake Theatre: Home Free vs The Filharmonic “I’m Alright”

Time once again for our usual midweek feature.

It's been a while since we've seen anything here from NBC's “The Sing Off” hasn't it? We sure do love that á cappella singing, don't we, especially since yours truly has watched Pitch Perfect on DVD about a hundred times by now.

So, let's remedy this situation, as Home Free and The Filharmonic sing off to the Kenny Loggins hit, “I’m Alright” from the movie “Caddyshack.”

That's “Fil” as in “Filipino.” Clever.
 

“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Perseid Meteor Shower Edition)

Hardly a week goes by without reports of bad news coming out of Africa, whether it's one group of thousands being massacred for being a little different from another group of thousands, or a group of thousands somewhere else starving to death.

But what if they could be self-sustaining? What if they could successfully grow their own crops?

Well, that's gonna be a problem for the Chosen People, if you listen to Secretary of State and former disgraced military veteran John Kerry. We've got to save the planet from what Margaret Sanger called "the mongrel races," so that the (mostly white) one percent can continue to live with their big-@$$ carbon footprints that step all over the plebian classes who must remain to serve them. That sound about right to you, John-boy?

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• Who would guess that a certain daughter would grow up with a sense of entitlement, as in, "accidentally" kicking another girl as "Lollapalooza." The whole thing was settled amicably. Uh huh, sure it was. [The Daily Caller]

• Then there are the moments when a sense of entitlement produces much different results, as some mama's little boy found out the hard way at Burger King. Guess who didn't have it his way. [KRCR-TV]

• This writer cannot remember the last time he got a speeding ticket in Virginia. And to think that Pennsylvania was bad enough, and New Jersey, even worse. [Jalopnik]

• And speaking of cautionary tales, there may be reasons why the tail end of the baby boom generation should all be dead by now. [Flashbak]

• And now, on to the outer frontiers of science, as we discover a sixteen-year-old girl who uses banana peels to reduce pollution. [San Francisco Globe]

• Finally, science marches onward, as you too can learn how to bend water. Once again, it's not magic, dammit, it's SCIENCE! [Gizmodo]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, take a look at the stars at night. Other than that, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Loose Lips in the Loggia (Saint Cajetan Edition)

It's been reported that Pope Francis invited a Catholic delegation from North Korea to attend his Mass in South Korea and ... wait a minute, you mean there are Catholics in North Korea???

Meanwhile, here's what's bouncing around the bandwidth of believers lately:

• The American bishops are claiming the moral high ground on the matter of receiving infinite numbers of undocumented aliens crossing the southern border illegally. The problem is whether this squares with the quintessential Catholic social teaching which they are NOT claiming. [Catholic Journal]

• In another story of a lack of restraint, the Vatican has made clear its desire for a more restrained use of the "Sign of Peace" in the celebration of the "ordinary form" of the Roman Mass. Obviously "according to local custom" just isn't cutting the mustard. [CNA News]

• The term "Cafeteria Catholic" used to apply to progressive dissenters in the Church. According to Father Dwight Longnecker, it now applies to conservative dissenters. Since when did "conserving" something become a problem? [Standing On My Head]

• Finally, read it and weep, but for Zion's sake, do not be silent: “The people of Nineveh will rise up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the proclamation of Jonah, and, see, something greater than Jonah is here!” — Matthew 12:41 [NCRegister]

Well, that's our story and we're stickin' to it. Remember to attend Holy Mass this Sunday. Until the next weekly chattel of church chat, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

Transfiguration

He said, write down the vision
    that you had,
    and I wrote what I saw.

I saw the world
    kissing its own darkness.

It happened thus:
    I rose to meet the sunrise
    and suddenly over the hill
    a horde appeared
    dragging a huge tarpaulin.
They covered unwary land
    and hapless city
    and all sweet water
    and fields.
And there was no sunrise.

I strained my eyes for a path
    and there was no path.
I bumped into trees and the bushes hissed at me,
    and the long-armed brambles cried in a strident voice:
    never through here!
But I struggled on, fumbling my beads of no.

I came to a dark city where nobody knew
    that there was darkness.
And strange! though there was no light I still coud see
    what I did not want to see:
    people who moved to the loveless embrace of folly.
They ate her gourmet foods; they drank her wine,
    danced to her music that was crazed with rhythm,
    were themselves discord though they knew it not,
    or if they knew, cared less.

Outside the city wall I stood in thought,
    parried a moment with a frieghtening urge
    to court the darkness;
    but I held back, fearing the face of love.

Crossing a field I wandered through a desert
    when suddenly behind a rock I found
    a little sagebrush where a fire was burning,
    shining and dancing. After my first amazed
    worship of silence I was loud with praise.

I watched with fear the darkness circling it.
    lunging against it, swirling a black cloak
    to suffocate the light,
    until the shades broke loose and one by one
    in terror fled.

The flame burned on, innocent, unimperiled.
There was no darkness that could put it out.

-- Jessica Powers, aka Sister Miriam of the Holy Spirit, OCD
 

Art-For-Art’s-Sake Theatre: Steve ‘n’ Seagulls “Thunderstruck”

Time once again for our usual midweek feature.

What happens when you come from Finland, and you have the nerve to fuse Appalachian mountain music with American heavy metal, maybe throw in a big-@$$ button accordion? Beats the hell outa me, but Steve ‘n’ Seagulls gives it a shot. Feast your eyes and ears until they ... Finnish.

Oh yeah, let's call it “mountain metal.”

(H/T to AC/DC and Dom Bettinelli.)
 

“I read the news today, oh boy ...” (Canadian Generic Civic Holiday Edition)

At least this little spat was broadcast on the evening news for one of the "Big Three," in this case, ABC. Congressman Tom Marino (R-PA) refutes certain claims made by the opposition, including at the expense of former Speaker and current Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA). If you watch the bottom of the video towards the end, she obviously doesn't take it very well, as she violates protocol to cross the aisle and go crazy on the Gentleman from Pennsylvania (which ABC describes as "chasing" him). Good times. (There's more exciting video coverage, with post-action commentary, to be found here.)

Meanwhile, elsewhere on planet Earth:

• If you went to Catholic high school in the 1970s, it was common for the girls to hike up their skirts a couple of inches once they left the house. Of course, the freshman girls were always the worst, weren't they, the little skunks? And then there are the yearbook photos, and a chance to practice "custody of the eyes." Good luck with that, by the way. [Flashbak]

• We've been devoting some time to the recent mainstream exposure of “Weird Al” Yankovic. Now that he's become respectable (and in serious danger of overexposure), he's being interviewed by someone other than Rolling Stone. [The Guardian]

• Speaking of trying to stop something, you know how a song gets stuck in your head (and right now for yours truly, it's one of Weird Al's), and you can't get it out? Help is on the way. [Gizmodo]

• In the Philippines, the use of two first names (Maria Clara, for example) and the mother's maiden name as surname follows the old Spanish convention. One's full name can become quite elaborate depending on one's identification with lineage. And then there's this guy. [FilipiKnow]

• Not to be outdone by the Korean one-hit wonder, leave it to Japanese businessmen to come up with the latest dance craze. [CNS News]

• Finally, at a time when the First Lady has nothing better to do but tell us what we should and shouldn't be eating, here's a reminder of American culinary delights gone by. [Inquisitor]

And that's all the news that fits. As the week goes on, stay tuned, and stay in touch.
 

We Are All Nazareans!

The region once known as Mesopotamia, the ancient "land between the rivers," namely the Tigris and Euphrates, has long been known as the birthplace of all Western civilization. The early accounts in the Book of Genesis, of the Garden of Eden, and those of Adam and Eve's progeny, are attributed to this area, which corresponds to modern-day Iraq, Kuwait, and parts of Syria, Turkey, and Iran. It is here that the Christians, specifically Catholics, are known as “Nazareans” for the place of Our Lord's childhood, where Joseph and Mary lived before their Son began his public ministry. These ancient believers have been marked by the Arabic letter "Nunn."

Today, as the world watches in silence, if not indifference, Christians living in some parts of this region have been given a choice by the Muslim invaders; to convert to Islam, to leave, or to die. Nearly all have chosen to leave. The presence of the Church in that in the Iraqi city of Mosul has been shut down for the first time in fifteen hundred years. The burial place of Jonah, in the ancient city of Ninevah, has been destroyed.

It is a sad commentary of this nation, that its chief executive would praise the leaders of a false religion for their alleged contributions to American life, even as their fellow believers shout for the death of that very same land. Indeed, those of like mind have already rained death upon us since the beginning of this century; in New York City, across the Potomac River from Washington, and in a field in Pennsylvania.

The persecution of Christians in the cradle of the human race has slowly and surely begun. If it is not met with force, the errors of the Mohammadens will continue to spread throughout Europe, and the imposition of sharia law, already enacted at the local level in various parts of Michigan and New Jersey, will continue unabated, in what has up to now been known as "the land of the free."

By the waters,
The waters,
Of Babylon.

We lay down and wept,
And wept,
For thee Zion.

We remember thee,
Remember thee,
Remember thee, Zion.

The cry of the psalmist remembers. Who will stand for those who bear the crown of martyrdom? For we are all Nazareans now.
 

TGIF: The Gregory Brothers “Vacation Weekly Mailbag”

Thank God it's Friday, and here it is, your moment of whimsy.

Much to his surprise, Andrew Gregory receives his Weekly Mailbag mail at The Gregory Brothers' rustic vacation cabin, including a Mallorcan whistle, Russian Magnets, and so much envelope art from Tim or Tina that he creates a cutting edge piece of video art from it.

And so it goes.